Orlando: Day Four

I am nowhere near buzzed enough to write this entry, but I'm going to anyway.

I am cold, wet, and basically miserable. It was about 50 degrees here tonight, and raining like a bitch. And of course, tonight was the night of the big conference party. Traditionally on Wednesday night, the organizers of this thing will actually rent out one of the Disney parks and ship 7,000 people off on buses so they can hang out there for 3 hours. Everyone rides the rides, eats the bad food and drinks free wine and beer. I only had two little glasses of free wine and that's not near enough to offset the amount of water that is currently dripping off of me. My boss's kids were there with her, so it was a little more...um, subdued than the other nights.

This year's outing was at Animal Kingdom, and I'm not sure whose brilliant idea it was to go on a night-time excursion to a theme park where the main attraction is watching animals during the day, but that's what we did. If you're an animal, what do you do on rainy, cold nights? You guessed it. You curl up in your little cave or whatever and sleep, or you stay warm with the monkey sex. Well, if you're a monkey, I mean. Either way, you're not out sharing the evening with a bunch of nerds from all over the country.

The new Everest rollercoaster was pretty good. If you've never ridden it and plan to, then skip this part, because I'm going to tell you about it. The two big surprises are a big section of track that is all torn up -- you slow down and stop just short of it, and start falling backwards -- and then you get to see the giant bigfoot creature that is tearing up the track. The cool part is, after you stop going backwards, you start down the same track again -- the one you know is out -- only this time you don't slow down. At the last second you change direction somehow and drop down onto a different track. Here's how much of an IT geek I am: When the track changed direction and we started down the loop, I actually yelled, "Conditional Routing!!"

I am so ashamed.

I know what you will say. I should be. And you are absolutely right.


  1. *snicker* Well, at least it kept you from the mini-bar, right?

  2. Anonymous2:02 AM

    As a fellow IT geek (who's just about to finally take the CCNA, actually) I'm in a good place to appreciate router-based humor.

    Bravo sir, bravo.

    - Scott

    P.S. Word Verication Word: BK Gym. "Lift that Whopper skinny-ass. You want to have one chin forever?"

  3. Anonymous8:25 AM

    You are the spokesman for
    "There's a time and place for everything."

    Emabrace who you are or we will make a parade, and make you proudly march in it.

  4. Anonymous9:10 AM

    Goddammit, JV. I was just commenting how it seems like my boys didn't belong in a group with all those nerds because you are so cool, and then you go and pull a stunt like this. You're embarassing me. But God help me I love you anyway.

  5. Sorry 'bout the rain and the lack of animal action on your big night out, Johnny. There's always the plane ride home to look forward to....

    My one true love is the IT guru at our office. When I told him what you said on the roller coaster he laughed hysterically! It made his day (and mine too) so don't be ashamed!

  6. Anonymous8:40 PM

    Oh yeah, you are officially a geek. ;)

  7. Anonymous10:44 PM

    I feel dirty even reading that you said that.

  8. Anonymous8:16 PM

    Your blog is damn hilarious! There is no way I cannot link you. :)

  9. Anonymous2:50 PM

    Yeah...Animal Kingdom is much better in daylight. And Expedition Everest is great. It was my nephew’s first big roller coaster and he insisted on going three more times that day.

    During my company's convention, we got to do Universal Studios after dark: whole section of the park to ourselves and the "Blues Brothers" live. Now you know where "big oil" profits go. :)