I'm afraid to ask

But I'm hoping my wife is doing this with her finger or a spoon and not her tongue.


I'm back from Orlando and this weather can suck it.

So after a week-long geekfest in Orlando, I'm back in the beautiful northeast. The day before we were flying home, I texted my friend Vidna and and told him I wasn't coming back and to just go ahead and sell all my stuff and send me the money. Unfortunately, he couldn't work fast enough and we got kicked out of the nice hotel we were squatting in and had no choice but to book a much cheaper room for a couple of days.

We did get to visit Epcot, and it really hasn't changed much in the last few years. I was kind of surprised that China was still the same size. I figured it would have taken over by now but I guess Mickey keeps a tight reign on shit like that. I am currently moving pictures from my phone and my blackberry and my iPad and yes, even an actual camera and should have something to report in the next day or so. A work-trip like this one is usually 90% exhausting and 10% fun, and this one was no exception, so I'm still sorting out the good bits from the pain.

Also, I'm pretty sure I need a new spine if anyone has a spare. I think mine is crumbling to dust.


Random stuff from my phone.

Sometimes when I see something that makes me laugh, I take a picture of it. Then I forget about it completely. Eventually I need to clean them off my phone to make some space, and I try to remember what it was about that particular thing that made me laugh. Sometimes it's obvious, and sometimes... well, not so much.

Why did I take this picture, for instance?

I have no clue. It was something I saw at work, but now I have no idea what the hell I thought I was going to do with it. I really have to start writing some of these ideas down.

How about this one?

"Yo, OTIS! Elevator broke!"

I saw this CD in the store a few weeks ago:

Did you ever notice it makes Art Garfunkel look like he has a giant porn 'stache?

No? It's just me?

At what point in someone's day do they decide they'd like nothing more in life than a tramp stamp for their SUV?

If you're gonna do that shit, at least center it on the window.

I'm really glad they're finally getting rid of all the Christmas decorations at work. This deranged looking Santa has been standing on the corner of my row for almost two months now:

He looks like he should have a bottle of Jack in his hand. But he doesn't. What he does have in his hand is what really has me worried:

I had absolutely nothing to do with that.

Or how about this picture I've entitled Cleveland, Encapsulated:

Here's some gay mermen christmas ornaments for your enjoyment:

Man. I really have to start working out again.

Lastly, have you heard about this new thing called Owling? It's supposed to be the new "planking." If planking wasn't quite stupid enough for you, now you can perch somewhere and have someone take a picture of your dumb ass. I'm not even sure if Owling is a real thing, but go see for yourself.

All I have to say is this:

Ok, so that last picture wasn't from my phone.

That you know of.