Mr. Clean is a Giant Man-Whore.

I was watching TV last night, and I realized something. Mr. Clean only "comes round" when the missus is home alone. There's never a husband or boyfriend in sight.

Mr. Clean is a clearly a major playa and special man-ho for de ladies.

Seriously, just think of all the moist towelette this guy must get -- he has the ability to pop into any house he wants at any time, and apparently he can also read minds, because he appears just when the women are thinking, "I wish I had a strapping, virile bald man to polish my pot."

I first noticed this phenomenon when I saw some fleeting but seriously flirtatious eye contact between the lady of the house and the Mister. You could also tell that he'd been there lots of times before because she wasn't even surprised when he materialized. I re-wound my PVR, and caught this still frame:




If there isn't smoldering passion there, there's at least some mutual interest in a quickie over the counter.

After that, I started freeze framing through Clean's other visits. It seems that one of the main talents it requires to be a giant man-ho is an ability to service several different women per hour. I have to say, that impresses the hell out of me. Not even when I was in college did I have that sort of stamina, and there was certainly no satisfaction involved on anyone's part.

To be fair, part of his success has to be due to the fact that he doesn't have to actually drive anywhere. Also, because he's Mr. Clean, I am pretty sure he's inherently dirt-free and never has to do any laundry or take a shower.

This one starts out innocently enough.



He is showing her what a great job he can do on her stained and filthy table, upon which, in her spare time, she apparently rebuilds lawnmower engines. But she turns away for a second, and then he makes his move:



Yep. It's out, and you didn't even see it happen. He's that good. She is shocked, but obviously also appreciative.

And this one is just blatant. I am almost positive they are actually doing it as she cleans.



Here's to you, Mr. Clean. You are truly a hero among men.*

*except among those men who happen to be married to the above women.