I think I've got wood thrush.

I know that sounds like some sort of chronic pecker disease, but it's not. It's actually the type of bird that is nesting in one of my wife's hanging plants, at least according to the internets. She was watering the plant one day a couple of weeks ago, and a bird flew out of it. When she took the plant down to look inside, she saw three tiny blue eggs. Each one was about the size of a dime.

I say "was" because as you all know, the world is full of dangerous predators who can't wait to get their mouths around some tasty wood thrush eggs. I figured that if I didn't make my move some other critter was going to beat me to it. So I did the only thing I could do:

No, I kid. I didn't really eat them. And to prove it, here they are right after they were hatched:

If you tapped on the side of the pot, you could get them to do their Rosie O'Donnell impersonation*:

We left them alone for about a week and a half and I didn't take any more pictures, but we did look in on them from time to time. They were ugly, bald prehistoric looking things and when their pin feathers started coming in I am pretty sure they were among the ugliest things on the planet. Ugly or not, it's truly amazing how fast they grow. Today, there were only two left, and they looked like this:

I think my wife got some good "in between" shots, but there weren't any on my camera. Because I care about you all deeply and I don't want you to miss out, here is an artist's rendition of what they looked like at about two weeks:

*that's when you open your big mouth and nothing of any consequence comes out of it, so you just keep it that way until someone shoves food in it.


  1. Oh for the love of all that is holy-I heart you so effing much. Are you kidding me with that last picture!? You almost killed me. Choking on Diet Rite is not how I want to go out.

    My thoughts on the newborn pictures: what the mother of crap is that.

  2. Those are some funny pictures! I'm glad you didn't eat them.

  3. Anonymous8:17 AM

    I spewed Diet Coke all over my keyboard with that past pic.

  4. Loved the Rosie impression. A blogger I like once said, "Rosie O'Donnell is the Al Sharpton of gay people."

  5. Oh, Johnny V...look at you. Surrogate parents for freaky lookin' birds. I knew I liked you for some reason.

  6. Ah JV, you are a sweetie...

  7. Good gracious, those are some ugly birds. Actually, I like the pic of them after they've filled-out a bit - they look like they're thinking "what are YOU looking at?" LMAO

  8. You are six kinds of w r o n g.

    But you're funny.

  9. Warn a girl before she starts reading to put down her drink, will ya? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha!
    Great blog, dude. I'm glad to see you on the top 10 list and what the hell, I'll vote for ya.

    In fact, I'm linking you at the field. Give my people somebody else to read. They'll love you over there.

  10. I pink puff heart you Johnny Virgil.

    Your posts are freaking hilarious!

  11. What happened to baby #3?

  12. sarah - it was either him or Frank Purdue. They both remind me of baby vultures.

    Mike - no, I was waiting for them to get a little bigger first.

    Ima - that is so true....

    Arm - we really didn't do anything but shove a camera in their faces once in a while, so we suck as bird-parents.

    Sassy - you're going to ruin my rep with talk like that. No wait. Too late. I ruined it a long time ago.

    Cruiser -- we were afraid that they'd jump out. Remind me to tell you the Blue Jay story sometime.

    Cravy - please name the 6 ways. Thank you. I am only asking because I got to 4 and got stuck.

    Crabby and Sneaky - thanks! (and now we know what happened to the two missing dwarves after they did their time..)

    Scoop -- I think that the one that hatched earliest got tired of the cramped accomodations and headed for the hills.

  13. I had a duck make a nest next to my front door one year. We got along well as I tried to leave them alone. Then one day they started to act real weird and next thing I know, they were gone. Without even a note and letting me take pictures or nothing. Ungrateful kids. Love the tiny eggs in the pan and ... oh heck, nicely done Johnny 5, I mean Johnny V.

  14. Colin Mochrie (SP!)!!! Oh goodness, that is too much. Whee!!

  15. Anonymous7:21 PM

    HAHAHAHA!!!! *that's when you open your big mouth and nothing of any consequence comes out of it, so you just keep it that way until someone shoves food in it. OMG, I think I love you now.

  16. OMG you are so funny!!

    1. Why thank you for browsing my archives. That sounds dirty.