You might think it's funny but it'snot.

Thanks to Sarah, I now have a name to put with what I witnessed today. I was in the men's room, just about to wash my hands, when a darker-skinned gentleman of middle-eastern descent came out of the stall. He immediately walked over to the sink next to mine and did some sort of elaborate hand washing exercise that looked like this, except for the feet part. He dipped each hand multiple times, all while mumbling something.

I can only assume that he was some sort of Muslim, and this was his thing.

That's fine. (Although as an aside, this particular dude might want to throw an armpit or two into the mix as well -- I'm just sayin'.) Anyway, I have no problem with any of that. He can strip naked, climb in the urinal and take a leisurely bath and I wouldn't give a shit.

My problem is with what he did next.

The next thing he did, (which, incidentally, I noticed was definitely not on the above diagram,) was exactly this:

He blew his nose into the sink.

He did this by plugging his left nostril with his left index finger, and blowing hard from his right nostril, and then doing the same thing on the other side.

I actually saw snot spray out of his nose. In fact, I heard it hit the porcelain.

Yep. Your basic snot-rocket, as Sarah informed me. I was so stunned I said, "What the FUCK?" before I realized I was actually talking out loud. He just glanced over at me, and then cupped some water in his hand and splashed it on the sink snot as if to say, "Happy now?"

Then he turned and left. He just walked out. No paper towels, no nothing. I'm 100% sure his snotty remnants are still on the door handle as I type this.

To all the Muslims that read my blog, let me reiterate my question: WTF?

In fact, I'll open it up to everyone, since I probably don't have that many Muslim readers.

Is this just an incidence of "disgusting slob with no clue" or is there something in the Koran that prohibits using toilet paper or paper towels to blow your nose? If this is indeed the case, please let me know.

I stood there pondering his actions for a moment or two, then washed my own hands. I opened the door with a giant wad of paper towels.

Don't worry. I'm pretty sure I got away snot-free.


  1. What is the sound of snot impacting porcelain?

  2. you risk being on the receiving end of a snotwa, I fear

  3. He's probably just a dirty slob, like the other toilet users you were on about.

    By the way, you deserve a *spang!* just for that pun at the end. ;-)

  4. woody, so you didn't like the lead-off pun? Ane what about sheel's snotwa? If that's not a bad pun, I don't know what is.

    tfg -- take a wet shoelace and slap it on the back of your hand. It sound kinda like that.

  5. The pun at the end totally had me cracking up. I am easily amused.

  6. That's just the farmer's handkerchief, although usually it's only used outside in secluded areas. I thought it was solely a redneck thing.

  7. We call it a "farmer blow". But I think we can all agree on the fact that this behavior enjoys a rich and colorful lexicon.

  8. I've seen it before, just never into a sink at work.

  9. Anonymous5:01 PM

    Into a sink, providing you rinsed it away properly, would be a damn sight more hygienic than the nasal manoeuvre I saw a (presumably non-Muslim) slob performing onto the pavement today.
    Bacteria from pavement deposits when dried out, become airborne, and spread disease, including meningitis, apparently.

  10. From what I understand they eat with one hand ONLY and wipe with the other hand ONLY, never to get these mixed up. As far as the sink blow next time tell him itsnot that difficult to use a kleenex.

  11. fifi - ew. Airborne? Jeebuz.

  12. Anonymous6:42 PM

    I think it's called a "Redneck Hanky" or something like that. Down here in Mississippi it's a pretty common thing to see.

  13. Just make a list of all the places where this is a custom so I can avoid them.

  14. i'm pretty sure your, "WTF?!" negated all his good wudu mojo and he left immediately so he could go start over in some other public wash room.

    and if you hear see knees on the floor in the co-ed potty stall next you, don't fear. it's just me going to confession. all you have to do is say, "amen. you're absolved." and i'll be on my way. you can blame my potty stall confession on the recent lack of priests in my area.

  15. Anonymous9:51 AM

    Right. We have a gentleman like that at work. Apart from any nasal maneuvers, he also rocks a terrifying facial birdbath-cum-slurp/gargling thing in the men's restroom at the sink that has led us to rename him Slurptosh.

    He performs this ritual ablution on as frequent a basis during the day as possible. No one is sure why he does this, but it is not uncommon for one of my male co-workers to come into the lunch room scowling, sit down, and say, "I just got slurped. I was in the stall on the left and he absolutely got me..."

    Evidently the sounds he makes are so disturbing that all the guys try to avoid them by diving out of the bathroom as soon as they see him enter.

    He also takes record-length pees.