Death by chocolate.

Here's a question for the guys: Is it just me, or does this commercial make your balls shrivel up a little bit?

I swear to you, if I have to see this commercial (or one of its many sickening variations) one more time, I will fly to hollywood and kill these annoying bitches using nothing but foamy chocolate yogurt.

The one on the left annoys me the most with her inane and insipid references to chocolate goodness. I must admit however, she is marginally less annoying to me now than she was when she had the hair style of Leonardo DiCaprio in "What's eating Gilbert Grape."

So listen closely, annoying girl -- Just give it up and stop trying to convince us that you like guys. Just cave in to your lustful chocolate lesbian urges and be done with it. We can all tell that you are just one white russian away from simply leaping out of your chair and straddling your chocolate friend, so don't even try to convince us otherwise.

Yoplait ad executives should be killed for allowing these commercials to air. At the very least, they should be tortured by locking them in a room with nothing but a television that plays these commercials over and over, and no food except for a dozen cases of that foamy chocolate shit.

And this thing?

Vapor-plug? I don't even want to know what that's all about.


  1. Anonymous6:03 AM

    The sudaplug is a gizmo you can plug in to remove that awful funk and chocolate smell that lingers after a yoplait orgy.

  2. Anonymous7:04 AM

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  3. Anonymous7:04 AM

    JV I also almost lost it when I saw this commercial. WOMEN DO NOT TALK LIKE THAT AND IF YOU ARE READING THIS AND YOU DO, YOGURT CAN NOT HELP YOU (unless you are eating it to help prevent vaginal itch. OMG ew I can't watch TV anymore).

  4. Never seen them either, thank allah.

    There's a guy at work that could sure use that vapor plug, though.

  5. I'd like to stick the chocolate up their..... By the way, I have returned to your site a few times... and i would like to put a link on my site for you. I think I have a pretty awesome one..... come see it and let me know.... "Life as I Know It"

  6. Was that last comment spam? Just curious.

    Good call on these two commercials. I always enjoy it when you get all over the TV crap we're all subjected to.

    The chocolate queens there - pathetic.

  7. Oh man- that's hilarious. I hate those bitches too! Actually, the tampon commercials irk me- and I'm a chick.

    The vapor plug is for when you're sick. Think vicks for your plug. They also make shower tablets that do the same & I have no idea why I'm still talking about it.


  8. I never noticed that the Yoplait commercial was annoying. I guess I haven't seen it enough. But I love those Yoplait chocolate Whips. Yum! Oh and that vaporplug worked great for helping baby breath at night, but it stinks!

  9. yeah, I know what the vapor plug is/does. It just sounds like some sort of anti-fart device.

  10. i did a recent "race for the cure" 5k, of which yoplait is a sponsor. at the end of the race there really was a chocolate orgy at their sponsor booth. having never had the chocolate fluff, i did venture a taste. yuck. give me real chocolate and real sex, thanks.

    p.s. the key lime yogurt was yummy.

  11. Your blog is pretty cool. LOVE the black background. I've noticed a lot of dudes use this. Effective.

    Oh yea, they really get on my nerves those two spa-dwelling females. The white chick finally let that butch hairdo grow out. Wasn't working for her.

    Never used the vapor plug. Sounds invigorating.

    Fifi: Ha ha! Good one.

  12. Anonymous8:27 PM

    Hello! You guys that say

    The one girl is one drink away from jusmping her friend

    are not hearing the last line of the commercial.

    The darker girl says...this is dating a masseuse good.

    A masseuse is only a WOMAN

    Then the butch haircut girl shushes her and the voice-over comes up

  13. I have actually read since that one of them is a lesbian. Who knew?

  14. Anonymous3:10 PM

    Here's a picture parody of the Yoplait Girls: http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f394/tarce33/yoplait_girls-4.gif

  15. Anonymous1:33 PM

    damn, I thought I would be the first to shed light on the girl on the left. She really is a lesbian, she is on that showtime series "The L Word" (and why on the show do they have the straight girls acting gay and one of the only out lesbians playing a bisexual?)

    Anyway, I found your blog through Wide Lawns.. Sli'm playing catch up. One of the few things I read online that I actually read out loud, thanks!