I leave for work really early, about 5am, and it's mostly still dark. This morning, it was also foggy. As I'm driving down a lonely, dark road in the middle of nowhere, I see this:
I slow down, and pull off to the side of the road. I have no idea what these things are. My heart skips a beat, then starts pounding. They are coming right for me. No shuffling zombie gait, this -- they are coming at my car full speed -- which is a damn fine clip.
Oddly, they do not attack right away. In fact, they do not seem to be interested in me at all. They are 50 feet away now, and I am able to look at the creatures more closely. Vaguely humanoid, about 5 feet and 6 feet tall respectively. I believe the taller of the two is the male. Assuming of course that they do, in fact, have separate sexes.
I do not notice any genitalia -- just smooth, bright white skin, and some sort of malevolent red eye in the very core of their being. They move closer. I see them for what they are, and a scream rises in my throat.
They nod at me and say good morning. I nod back, trying not to vomit. I have no fashion sense whatsoever, but even I know this is not right.
No, unfortunately, I did not get to greet aliens from outer space.
Instead, I get to greet a nutjob husband and wife, wearing matching white tyvek painter's jumpsuits and caps, each with a blinking red LED stobe light pinned to the center of their chests.
Dressed up like Devo's backup dancers.
WTF can they be thinking? Well, I actually know what they're thinking -- they're thinking "I really, really, really, really, do not want to get hit by a car," but still -- I wouldn't go to a costume party wearing that shit.
Goddammit. I'm never going to get the anal probe.