I worked from home for a half day today, then took some time off this afternoon to go to the dentist. As a result, I had a few hours to kill while I was waiting for leave for my appointment. While I was eating lunch, I flipped on the TV.
It's amazing the things you can learn if you watch TV while you eat. If you watch the Discovery Channel and happen to get lucky, you can eat at the exact same time as the cheetah, which has a certain primal appeal. Nothing like eating a nice hunk of grilled bison while the same exact animal is getting ripped apart and eaten raw right in front of your eyes.
No such luck today.
Today, I learned about Frogs, and how they throw up. Oddly enough, this is one thing about frogs that I have never deeply pondered. You would think that 'How Frogs Puke' would have been right up there on my list, but no.
Apparently, most frogs can intentionally vomit up their entire stomachs, and then use their front legs to shove the offending matter out. Then they simply re-swallow their stomachs and continue on their merry way. No muss, no fuss.
The first thing I thought of was how awesome that would be. You have to admit that after a night of heavy drinking and way too many jalepeno poppers, it would be great if you could just huck up your entire stomach, turn it inside out and dump the contents into the toilet like that bowl of 2 week-old stew from the fridge, and then just swallow it down again. No more running to the bathroom in the middle of the night. No more sticking your finger down your throat and praying to throw up. Think of the time and agony you would save yourself.
If you were a real party animal, you could accomplish this stomach manuever right in the bathroom stall at the club. You wouldn't even have to worry about having puke breath. Just dump your guts and head back to the party. Gives the term 'sucking in your stomach' a whole new meaning.
On the other hand, even though the frog didn't bat an eye, it just can't be very pleasant. Plus, if humans could do it, it would probably look pretty disgusting.
Imagine walking into the men's room, and seeing some guy standing in front of the sink with his stomach hanging out of his mouth. I'm sure that if it was crowded in there when he did it, it would cause a chain reaction, and pretty soon there'd be six guys standing there resting their inside out stomachs on their chests.
Truth be told, I think it would be the sounds they would make swallowing them again that would really get to me.
Now I'm going to have nightmares tonight. Damn you, Discovery Channel.
Next time I'm just going to watch The Food Network.....although with my luck, Rachael Ray would probably huck up her stomach.
How DARE you besmirch my Rachael!ReplyDelete
It would be cool to puke up your stomach and then dip it in stuff. Like stuff that is too hot/sour etc to actually eat. Dip your stomach in EverClear - you get wasted and don't have to taste that shit.ReplyDelete
Dude, you've got a really funny blog. Thanks for the laughs, they help take my mind off where I am...ReplyDelete
Wow, imagine how handy that would be for all those starving celebrity chicks. They could whip that stomach out and remove everything but the lettuce...ReplyDelete
Yeah, BUT then you would have to go back out to the bar and buy more drinks. Great way to run up that bar tab!!ReplyDelete
" you can eat at the exact same time as the cheetah, which has a certain primal appeal." You had me dying on that. I loved it.ReplyDelete
LoL @ Theresa.ReplyDelete
I feel ill watching Rachel Ray with all of her hand flailing and icky recipes. I swear I saw her make ice cream with balsamic vinegar sauce on top. Ew!
Shamus, you know I'm right.
I'd love to be able to do this to my stomach. Although the rest of the country doing it could be bad as there are quite a few fatasses out there. Can you imagine what in their stomachs. What about the hanibals out there. Would their stomachs reveal eye balls and brain matter?ReplyDelete
Rachel Ray was cute before she started eating and never stopped. Like 50 lbs ago. Shamus must like them big and round.
What could be more disgusting than what they naturally eat that they would need to throw up?ReplyDelete
Yeah, good point.ReplyDelete
"Ugh, I think I got a bad poopfly. Better flip the stomach."
That's disgusting! I hate puking so much that I generally avoid drinking enough to cause it.ReplyDelete
That is some really interesting info...You never disappoint JV.ReplyDelete
does anyone know where I can get footage of a frog puking and then cleaning its stomach?!?! I would love to see thatReplyDelete