Pick your excrement

So I got to work today, and ate a protein bar with my coffee.

This particular bar was covered in chocolate, a piece of which I managed to drop on my lap without noticing. My pants today, for people keeping track, are a light khaki color. Those of you who know me (really, really well) know that I have a very hot crotch. Before I realized it, the aforementioned VHC proceeded to melt chocolate all over the front of my pants.

At this point I had a decision to make: Walk around all day looking like I had a serious and unfortunate wiping accident, or hide at my desk with imitation pee stains. It was really a no brainer. Temporary pee stains trump permanent poop stains every time. I grabbed some paper towels and water, and proceeded to soak the entire front of my pants scrubbing out the chocolate. Now I can't leave my desk for about a half hour.

Good times.


  1. OMG this is totally something that would happen to me.

    P.S. I am calling you VHC or Hot Crotch from now on.

  2. Anonymous9:54 AM

    I like the way you think on the fly...

  3. One other option is to just walk around like nothing's up, and if people look at your crotch go "Yeah I know it looks like I spilled water on my pants but it's ok it's just urine"

  4. Oh dear god that's great as this is something that happens to me all the time. Only mine falls onto the chair and then it looks like I crapped in my chair.

  5. Unknowingly spilling milk onto the crumb catchers and having it dry there looking like you've just breast fed a daycare center is always fun too.

  6. Damn, of all the days not to have a minute to check your blog.... I could have laughed at you in person. Damn!

  7. Double Damn! If I had read this earlier, I would have driven over to your building, then called in a fake bomb threat to cause a fire drill.