That's some good Tequila. Lets go to my place.

I would like to go back to the topic of badly named products for just a moment. I've been seeing the commercial below pretty much non-stop recently and I think it's just a really bad name for a supposed top-shelf liquor product:

The first and most obvious connotation is that this Tequila would make me horny. Whether it would make me more or less horny than say, Patron, I don't know. If I didn't have a dirty mind, perhaps Hornitos would sound more like the name of a kid's snack. Maybe some kind of Dorito-branded corn chip in the shape of a horn, like Bugles, only with more added Mexican flavor.

But then I figured that since I don't speak Spanish, maybe a Hornito was something I've never heard of that was tasty and smooth. So I looked it up.

While I was correct in that it was something I've never heard of, I was incorrect in the assumption that it would be something tasty and smooth, because a Hornito is "a small, beehive-shaped mound built up from clots of molten lava ejected from an underlying volcanic tube," and that is decidedly not smooth nor tasty in any way.

There's a place in Chile called Hornitos, but that looks pretty dusty and unappealing. Although I think if I lived there, I'd be hitting some sort of liquor pretty hard.

Then there's this ghost town.

So I am mystified. If anyone has an idea of why the hell they would name a premium tequila this, please let me know. Until then, I will continue to hate this commercial on your behalf.


  1. Maybe it's not Hornitos in the literal sense but named after the distillery or something like that.

  2. i was reevaluating the pronunciation of "hornitos," thinking that perhaps saying it differently could supply us with some answers, but "hornet-oh's" and "horn it, O!" aren't much better. so i'm with you on the anti-hornitos bandwagon.

  3. Also hate it because the ad says to "mischieve responsibly". I don't approve.

  4. Hornet-Os -- worst kids cereal ever.

  5. Hornitos are little clay ovens that they use to roast(?) the agave for the tequila. Probably named after the volcanic things. Or vice-versa.

    I think Patron would make you just as horny, but it probably also makes you want to say that "who's your daddy" thing a lot.

  6. kristina5:16 PM

    I think "a small, beehive-shaped mound built up from clots of molten lava ejected from an underlying volcanic tube," seems completely appropriate to descibe the effect tequila has on your brain, but that's just my opinion...

  7. Anonymous6:43 PM

    In Spanish, horno simply means "oven". With the suffix ito, it then becomes a small oven... Maybe how your mouth feels like after drinking the stuff... The plural suggests that you want to share it with others, to make more than one "little oven"... Now, that's my explanation that's as good (or bad) as any.

  8. For me, its truth in advertising. Which is why this responsible lady doesn't drink a lot of tequila. No one wants an arm draped across their shoulders and 'I love you goddammit' slurred into their ear. I know. I checked.

    There are photos.

  9. I wondered about the level of horny inducement with this myself.

    You're like the Mythbuster of advertisement.

  10. ...and this is why i only drink gin.

  11. Frances9:10 PM

    Hornitos, Chile is actually a small beach town. Deserted during the winter, full in summer. Not a picturesque town, but after all, no one needs more than a simple shack on the beach. Maybe some tequila. If they had swung the camera the other way you would have seen a great beach. Like this:

  12. Anonymous5:43 AM

    Leave it to you to find this, thus have me wanting to go to work today and take a poll..lol

    Can you imagine George Carlin trying to figure this one out.. He did a bit on the word "tits"

    Oh Johnny, whatever shall we do with you..

  13. They probably were banking on the fact that no one would thoroughly research their brand name.

  14. Wouldn't "tocadoritos" ("little toilet," according to Babelfish) be a better name for a tequila?

  15. Wanton sexual appetite would be a better inspiration! Semantic overlap in translation at work.
    Nova=chevy. No va=I don't go.

  16. Anonymous11:37 AM

    Well, who wouldn't whore themselves for some neat O's? (Setting aside the fact that the letter 'h' is not pronounced in Spanish, so it's actually supposed to be 'ornitos' ... the letter 'j', however, is pronounced as an 'h' ... small wonder you are confused, have a drink, it'll help)

  17. Yup, I always think "horny" when I see the Hornitos ad.

  18. Moonwillow, that could be. I didn't actually go to their site and look at the company history. It's probably explained in detail.

    Brutalism, I have no idea wtf that is supposed to mean, which is another reason I hate the commercial.

    Chris, you win the brass ring. That makes a lot of sense. Who's your daddy? (incidentally, that was the answer i got when I was about 14 and yelled "You're hot! What's your name?" at a gorgeous 18 year old cheerleader. Luckily, I knew who the Zombies were and thought it was the greatest answer ever, and yelled back, "Is he rich like me?" I was clearly not rich, however, and she kept walking.

    Kristina, I'm not a big fan of the cheap stuff, but I may give this a go.

    Doreus, that sounds plausible. Between you and Chris, I think we could open a distillery.

    Shieldmaiden, you have to share them.

    Ed, I'm growing an awesome handlebar mustache as we speak.

    Marianne, I'm with you. Bombay Sapphire trumps Hornitos every time.

    Francis, I guess so...but damn it looks like nothing could live there.

    Lynne, let me know the results.

    BG, or that someone *would* and the resulting confusion would increase awareness of their brand. Hmmm....

    Comrade, yeah, definitely. That stuff doesn't agree with me much either.

    Dangerous, it's a week night and I try to keep my consumption down. But maybe you're right. I'll try it, and see if it makes any more sense.

    Mickey, you're confusing me. And I haven't even had a drink yet.

  19. Steven (VP of Marketing): Great job winning the Sauza account Laura. How did you do it?

    Laura (VP of Marketing): Thank you Steven. I don’t remember, but I do know that it was important for us to come up with a good name for the product.

    Steven: OK, so what do we call their Tequila? We want the name to reflect smooth, mellow, pure…

    Laura: I brought some back from our meeting. Should we try it?
    3 hours later.
    Steven: Lauga, I sink zats brilliant. Virgil. Virgil Tequilia…smove, mellow, purrrr.

    Laura: So…Steb, juanna?

    Steven: Haw didya member naming portant?

    Laura: Tatud …on my towz. Hornitoes!

  20. But Horny Margaritas are yummy! Regular margarita made w/ Hornitos and a splash of cran.

    (Haven't seen the ad due to I Tivo everything and fast forward through them)

  21. Anonymous5:22 PM

    I think the reason is obvious. The product name is not a mistake. They were counting on you writing this wonderful post and generating all that free publicity!

  22. There's a bakery in Mexico called Bimbo - which incidentally is (was) also the sponsor for the national soccer team. Perhaps the Spanish speakers of the world are just having a little fun with us Gringos...

    I've been away all summer and am only now making my way through all the funny things you've posted since I was last able to check-in.