Remember what I told you to forget

Every time I click "remember me on this computer" I believe for a second or two that Blogger might actually remember me, but no. It's a blatant lie. Still, I click it every time I log on in the hopes that maybe this time, it'll stick. And I'm not clearing any cookies. Also, if anyone can tell me wtf is up with the spacing after a paragraph I would be forever grateful. I'm tired of publishing a post and then seeing that there's 3 inches between paragraphs. It's driving me batshit.

Nothing much doing this weekend, so I figured I'd just share a few nuggets of common sense with you all, based on our excursion downtown yesterday afternoon for some shopping and lunch.

(1) If you ride a motorcycle, please wear pants that don't expose your hairy ass crack to everyone walking/driving/eating behind you. It's disturbing, disgusting and you're gonna have a serious sunburn issue if you don't cover that shit up somehow. Here's an idea -- find a chick to ride with you. Preferably one without a hairy ass crack.

(2) When you're sitting at an outdoor cafe and the tables are so close together that you could reach over to someone else's table and steal food from their plate without actually getting out of your chair, don't start trying to configure your cellphone exactly the way you want it while you are waiting for your food to arrive. Although you may think you have some pretty sweet ring tones, when you sit there and cycle through all 300 of them multiple times it makes me want to snap the stem off my wife's wine glass and stab you in the neck with it.

(3) muscle relaxers and vodka don't mix, unless your goal is to fall asleep every time you stop moving.

Also, in case anyone reading this happens to like to paint on random stuff and you've run completely out of old saws, slabs of barn wood, cast iron pans, velvet, small children's faces or other assorted crap, here's something else you can try:



Let me know how you make out.