Remember what I told you to forget

Every time I click "remember me on this computer" I believe for a second or two that Blogger might actually remember me, but no. It's a blatant lie. Still, I click it every time I log on in the hopes that maybe this time, it'll stick. And I'm not clearing any cookies. Also, if anyone can tell me wtf is up with the spacing after a paragraph I would be forever grateful. I'm tired of publishing a post and then seeing that there's 3 inches between paragraphs. It's driving me batshit.

Nothing much doing this weekend, so I figured I'd just share a few nuggets of common sense with you all, based on our excursion downtown yesterday afternoon for some shopping and lunch.

(1) If you ride a motorcycle, please wear pants that don't expose your hairy ass crack to everyone walking/driving/eating behind you. It's disturbing, disgusting and you're gonna have a serious sunburn issue if you don't cover that shit up somehow. Here's an idea -- find a chick to ride with you. Preferably one without a hairy ass crack.

(2) When you're sitting at an outdoor cafe and the tables are so close together that you could reach over to someone else's table and steal food from their plate without actually getting out of your chair, don't start trying to configure your cellphone exactly the way you want it while you are waiting for your food to arrive. Although you may think you have some pretty sweet ring tones, when you sit there and cycle through all 300 of them multiple times it makes me want to snap the stem off my wife's wine glass and stab you in the neck with it.

(3) muscle relaxers and vodka don't mix, unless your goal is to fall asleep every time you stop moving.

Also, in case anyone reading this happens to like to paint on random stuff and you've run completely out of old saws, slabs of barn wood, cast iron pans, velvet, small children's faces or other assorted crap, here's something else you can try:

Let me know how you make out.


  1. Anonymous10:29 PM

    Do you use IE or Firefox? With Firefox, it's sometimes configured so that it deletes cookies every time you close the browser. If you're using IE, you probably have enough viruses by now that one of them is affecting your cookies.

  2. well, i am using ie, but i've got a hardware firewall, a software firewall, a virus scanner and spysweeper. I also run adaware manually once in a while...and as far as I can tell, cookies from everywhere else seem to be fine.

  3. Greenfield is a magical and wonderful place. I wonder if they deliver?

    That could be a challenge for the kids to hang that art on the refrigerator.

  4. I have the same problem JV and I would like an answer also, great post by the way as usual. That biker deal is so true.

  5. Eww.

    And AAAAARRRgggg we've got an ass at work that downloads the latest stupid ringtones about every other day or so and then feels the need to go through all of his preivious peices of shit on the LOUDEST fucking setting he can make his phone push out. For gods sake I swear to he's blown a speaker.

    Please let me borrow that glass stem after you're fininsed. (or else I'm going to use my ruler)

  6. I'm pretty sure there is a suggestion on most vodka bottles that says mixing with muscle relaxers is a good thing.

    Isn't it?

    And yeah, I've had the paragraph gaps, too. Whatzzzup?????

  7. Paragraph stuff going on here too, people. I guess no spacing in blogger is spacing in the real world. Therefore, when you space, it gives you the 3 extra inches you don't need.

    OMG, JV. You were staring at hairy ass crack? Ewww. And frankly, I wish there was a law against cell phones in restaurants. I hate hearing shitty ringtones AND inappropriate amounts of information because some idiot is screaming into his damn wireless ear appendage. Dude, just turn it off for half an hour!

  8. You know what's weird? My MIL would totally call that number and get that shit to paint on.

    Ok, maybe not weird. Sad? Sure.

    Thanks for the advice on the muscle relaxers and vodka.

  9. Anonymous7:14 PM

    Waaaayyyy back to the 2nd comment.....

    I just prefer FF anyways. I can't use any browser without tabs now, and IE tabs suck.

  10. sound advice all the way around.

  11. You're using IE?


    And you work in the tech field? Why?! Oh Gods why?! That'll be your first problem. The reasons for switching to FF are myriad but include the tabbed browsing, the better security (depending on a few variables), and endless add-ons. Not to mention that it's basically the same as IE from a standard browsing point of view (it even auto-imports your Favorites.)

    As far as the spacing is concerned, hopefully you'll have better luck with FF. But also, I only use two enters after the paragraph (or two < br > tags.) I have had spacing issues when composing in another medium (like Notepad (or especially Word)). So now I run a KeyLogger (I know) when I start a post and just compose in Blogger whilst obsessive compulsively saving.

    This solves my spacing issues as well as my poof'd posts problem.

    And that's all I've got to say about that.

    - Scott

    P.S. If you're using Notepad to compose your posts (and why would you hurt yourself so?) make sure to get rid of that word wrap shit. That's the devil on every level.

  12. Scott, there are a few reasons I still use IE. One, work has standardized on it. Two, Passlogix V-Go doesn't work with firefox.

    I generally compose my posts in wordpad, but lately I've just been typing them in directly. A keylogger? That's a pretty hardcore way to fix the issue.

  13. Looks like we have similar peeves - am obviously enjoying your back-issues of bloggedness.