All This Can Be Yours!

Proudly displayed in a pristine setting, this stunning Adirondack Farmhouse* is being exclusively offered to those with discerning taste! Located on a beautiful one-acre corner lot, this house is a tribute to beauty. It blends quality high-end materials, fine craftsmanship and special attention to details! Take a walk through the leaves on a crisp autumn day as you listen to the babbling trout stream* behind the house.

Amenities include:

1 Bedroom
1 Bathroom*
Living Room*
Dining Room*
Eat-in Kitchen*

CALL US for a confidential showing of this extraordinary home.

So.....as you can see from the picture, the Squatterson Estate went up for sale this week. For the last month or so, we've been noticing some unusual activity in and around the building.

A few weekends ago, about 6 or 7 biker-lookin' dudes with pickup trucks and lumber showed up and installed a 6-foot-high stockade fence on the property line between this place and the Scummersons trailer next door. I can totally see why blocking off the view of that shithole would be the first thing on the agenda, however I'm not sure how much good the fence will do unless they're planning to bring prospective buyers in by doing a "visit to the Batcave" kinda thing with the knockout gas and what not.

Nothing has really changed at the Scummerson place next door since I last reported on it, although I do have a pretty funny current example of how these people think, or don't, as the case may be. About a month ago, when it was nice out, they washed a load of clothes and hung them on the line to dry.

So that being said, here's a picture from this morning:


The same clothes.

These things have to be as stiff as shingles by now. At this point, they are basically a stretched out bundle of sun-bleached rags. I have no idea why they just decided to leave them there indefinitely, but they did. They have been rained on at least a dozen times, and then dried to a beef jerky-like consistency at least a dozen more.

I'm guessing that this particular thought process is being hammered out by the same malt liquor-blasted neurons they used to decide that the snowblower should be permanently stored in the middle of the front yard. Yeah. I can see the reason for the fence.

I actually called the number on the 'for sale' sign, and talked to Cooter. We chatted a while about the "real nice trout stream," the "fantastic views" and the "house" itself. He told me that he was pretty sure I could build a new house on this one-acre lot (I can't, there's a 3 acre minimum) and the fact that it was in the Saratoga school district, (it's not, it's in Corinth) and how the taxes were *very* reasonable (they're not) before we finally got down to price.

Are you ready?

All this can be yours for the amazingly low, bargain-basement price of.....


Keep in mind that a few years back we bought FIVE secluded acres on a dead end street a quarter mile away for $27,000. Somehow, I'm thinking that even with the recent real estate boom around here, this guy is living in some delusional crack-induced dreamland.

I thanked him, and told him I would catch up with him later for a look inside the house. If I get in there, I'll definitely post some pics.

There is one good thing about them asking so much for it -- there won't be anyone buying the place with last week's leftover drug profits and then turning it back into a shit collection with a shack in the middle of it. At least right now it's neat, and they keep the lawn mowed.

Anyway, don't all dial at once. You might start a bidding war.

*Muddy culvert that splits the property in half
*Same room as above


  1. How do you know those clothes were washed when they were hung up? Maybe this is how they "wash" their clothes. Leave them out for a dozen rainstorms.

    I'm buying this house. Eff my condo.

  2. Anonymous12:48 AM

    So, if there's a 3 acre minimum to build, other than living in the shack, what possible use would there be for the property?

  3. Perhaps the clothes were left there with the intention of attracting a certain kind of buyer. They have to have standards you know.

  4. oh, a quaint little cottage in the woods! INCLUDES clothing?

    sweet. I'm so there.

  5. No, you guys are confusing the Squattersons and the Scummersons. The Squatterson place is for sale, the Scummersons is next door -- they are the ones with the clothesline and the snowblower.

  6. Dude, you should know, you always start the price high, then you come down.

    Plus, I'm sure the property values in your neighborhood jumped after you moved in. The folks are probably bragging that the property is in "Virgil County".

    I love the idea of the snowblower. Fuckin classic. It's better than having a dead christmas tree in your yard.

  7. Anonymous9:13 PM

    I saw something just like that, only in Maine. It was $235,000 or so, advertised as a "vacation camp."

  8. The Squatterson place is a real find!
    I'm sure it is in move-in condition, and I'm sure it has central air.
    Better act now!

  9. I'll never understand why people like you live where you live.

  10. People like me? I'm not sure what you mean by that.

    Do you mean people who like the woods, like peace and quiet, like not being able to see in my neighbor's windows simply by looking out of mine, and not having to worry about neighborhood "associations?" Well then, yeah, that would be like me.

  11. I think this kind of stuff is hilarious. When i was growing up on the farm, one of our neighbors (meaning they lived 4+ miles away) kept their lawnmower,snowblower, beds, etc on their front long. Their name was Bomburgers...so we dubbed them Bumburgers.

  12. I guess that is what I meant by people like you. I just don't understand it myself. I don't really like the woods. I'm not big on quiet. And not seeing any neighbors out my window would scare me. It bugs me that I have to drive more than 3 miles to a gas station.