I'd just like to take this opportunity to welcome the newest small business to grace our little town:
I eavesdropped outside for a bit. Here are some of the things I overheard:
"Don't play with those bottles! Those are glass. Here -- play with these empty Coors Light cans instead."
"No, you can't watch 'Hickory Dickory Cock.' That tape is for grownups."
"Henry! Grab the dog, will you? He's humping the shit out of Skeeter's little boy again."
"Isn't there supposed to be six of these little crap machines? We better check outside."
"Did you hear something by the window? Hey! YOU!"
"He's got a fucking camera! Don't let him get away!"
That's all I had time for, but I would just like to say:
Welcome, Precious Moments Day Care. Our neighborhood will be all the richer for you being in it.