It's time to play "Name That Granular Substance!"

Study this closely:

OK, time's up. Is this unnamed substance:

1. That nasty smelling shit they use to soak up puke in schools and amusement parks.

2. Clumping cat litter.

3. Something you throw on icy sidewalks to provide traction.

4. Diazinon Grub Killer.

5. Quadro-Triticale

6. Some sort of really expensive, stone-ground, 7-grain hot cereal that my wife mail-orders from some place in East Bumfuck, Central USA.

Yeah, you guessed it. It smells like a pot of boiling popsicle sticks when it's cooking.


  1. Looked kinda like Oatmeal.

  2. I dunno...I eat oatmeal every day for breakfast, and it doesn't look like that. But thanks for playing.

  3. Yeah, I don't eat anything everyday for breakfast, so...

  4. You should at least grab a snickers.

  5. Anonymous7:41 AM

    Holy cat turd. I really did think that was kitty litter.

  6. Hilarious! Reminds me of the crap my mother used to feed us. She was a member of the local food co-op and was constantly trying to feed us questionable "earthy" food.

    Thanks to my mother, I never had a Fruit Roll-Up in elementary school. "Fruit Leather" was her substitute.

    Enjoy your breakfast!

  7. I was gonna say it looks a little like crushed fried cheese curds. Ick. And no, John, it doesn't look like oatmeal! Eat some freakin' breakfast already.

  8. Anonymous5:33 PM

    I thought it was a close up of the surface of an oatcake, or other biscuit made of rough cereal.
    I make a pot of porridge every morning, and chop some vanilla apricots or prunes into each bowl.

  9. Anonymous1:40 PM

    Steel-cut oats...available at Whole Foods & Sun Harvest. :)

  10. All I know is it looks like something a horse should eat out of a bag.

  11. My guess would have be chicken feed/scratch, which coincidently looks just like 7-grain stone ground cereal and smells about the same when wet, or dry for that matter.

    Oh, yeah...new reader here. Love you blog. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. Your stories about your family and growing up are the best!