8/12/08

I only give 3 Star. Many Cugars.

This is the best thing I've read all day.



Apology accepted.

32 comments:

  1. The Hubby told me he almost threw up in his mouth thinking about making-out with a wrinkly big chested grandma, but obviously that's just him.
    I wonder what they offer for dessert....

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  2. Uh, how wrinkly are we talking about here? I can be flexible...

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  3. haha wow. um, well, at least he was honest?!?

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  4. We call it the "Home Grown Or Store Bought" game.....
    But not with grandma...
    http://preview.tinyurl.com/5nmxpr

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  5. I swear to God, that same guy tried to hit on me in the shoe department at TJ Maxx a couple of years ago. I can tell by his accent.

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  6. That was a Susan Sarandon sighting!

    I wonder what advice Sylvia would give these wrinkly implant owners? Disco dancing to Chinese music in front of a steamy mirror?

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  7. Okay... I was barely keeping my composure until he said "she asked can I fix her computer". That opened the floodgates!! Johnny this is a priceless gem! OMG I'm forwarding it to everybody on the planet. ("Sorry!")

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  8. zomg! he should not be let out in public and definitely not reporting on it. as an eventually-will-be "cugar" with a "fake chest" I'm on the look out for him and he won't be fixing anything of mine! :P

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  9. I wonder what this kids mother tongue is. Let's hope it's not English. Engrish, maybe?

    So our young lad is bummed out he didn't get to tap grandma PLUS he didn't get the IT gig. Sounds like a tough day all the way around.

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  10. I'm somewhat surprised the Politburo didn't replace the nice chest grandmothers "with wrinkles" for nice chest grandmothers without wrinkles and even nicer teeth.

    I give the Olympics 1 Star. I give hot grandmas 5 Stars.

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  11. Clearly all that wrinkly mammalia needs is a brisk rubbing with a turkish towel.

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  12. cUgers----wrinkled women looking for younger men to fix computer

    cOUgers----non-wrinkled women looking for younger men to have sex with

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  13. Anonymous11:01 AM

    You're 3 behind, i voted. I'm giving you your wit back. kutgw.
    colin

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  14. Ummm....yeah. We have a LOT of those in the Phx/Snottsdale area. Wrinkly old women full of botox (which isn't working) and silicone. Plus we have the heat factor, so their skin looks leathery too (I know...*HURP*). Could be worse...we could live in California!

    This guys english may not be good, but at least he's honest.

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  15. kristina2:08 PM

    His review of a restaurant consists of commentary on the customers and a complaint about not getting any? I'm sure the owners will be most pleased - "Oh sorry, if you were hoping the price of your dinner includes getting lucky with an old chick with big boobs, this is not the place for you to eat..."

    So, did this review allow you to decide if you are going to eat there?

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  16. Thank god he vetted that place before I went there. Can you imagine? Embarrassing!

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  17. Evidently the cugars aren't desperate enough to take a chance on an "Asian with a raisin", as my friend says.

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  18. For anyone else having the same trouble understanding what the hell a "cugar" or even a "cougar" is:-
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships

    Thank you Wikipedia.
    Obviously this term has taken off overseas yet.

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  19. Here's a Tiny URL pointing to the same thing which hopefully won't get truncated into illegibility.
    http://tinyurl.com/25w467

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  20. Lmao.

    This made my day.

    Thanks for sharing that wonderful find!

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  21. Johnny, since you live nowhere near Scottsdale, I can only assume you were doing yet another web search looking for Cougars.

    Man, I'd think you'd at least know how to spell it by now...

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  22. Dude, from one upstater to another, this is classic.

    They just don't make "cugs" like that in Beijing. This guy is in the right place but I think he needs to work on his game a bit i.e. lose the pocket protector.

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  23. mmmmm big chested old chicks .... yeah baby!

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  24. Deanna1:26 PM

    Ah yes, Barcelona and Cougars. Goes together like Scottsdale Douchebags & 30K millionaires. Scottsdale is full of "the Plastics" to steal a line from Mean Girls :) I even know of someone who literally wore a chainmail vest to a *FREE* tequila tasting there. ugh.

    Here's another one for you Johnny - it pretty much sums up the whole Scottsdale experience: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x08QpHdtbtU

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  25. "has all their teeth" is my favorite line.

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  26. That made me laugh. How funny and awkward at the same time. Haha!

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  27. Hello, Not sure if you do blogger tags, but I have tagged you to list 5 words you dislike and why. You are too funny I would love to see what you come up with! Best, Becs

    www.becsbohemia.com

    p.s. you were one of my inspirations for starting to blog

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  28. xopher.tm12:32 AM

    There has been, for me, this long, slow realization of what exactly is wrong with the whole internet thing, and this typifies it. Any soulless husk of human meat can voice his opinion on anything and it carries the same weight as any reasonable, intelligent person's.

    The same kind of idiot consistently gives a movie one star because "the popcorn was stale and mom yelled at me when I got home 'cos I didn't put gas in the car."

    Lee B. needs to be forcibly sterilized.

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  29. Anonymous1:43 PM

    xoph, you have the same problem with democracy. Everybody's vote has the same weight. When the dumb people outnumber the smart people, you are screwed.

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  30. Ok, that guy is full of shit. I know this because I live in Phoenix, and during the summer there is no one here over the age of 40. All the "winter visitors", or snowbirds, come from Nov-March, when it's not 150 degrees. That's when the "cugars" come out. He's just pissed because he couldn't get laid.

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