The sort of stuff I get for Christmas

I have a friend who always finds the weirdest shit to get me for Christmas. It's generally something I would never have asked for, wanted, or even known existed. One thing is for sure -- whatever it is, it always makes me laugh.

I finally broke this bad boy out last night:

As you can see, this is not your ordinary, every day, hum-drum incense burner. This just happens to be the best one ever. Even better than the incense burner itself is the box it came in. There's a pack of Marbs, and the box says in big letters: "WARNING: Real babies should NEVER smoke." That sentence right there is worth the price of admission to my world.

But that's not the best part.

The best part is the CAUTION section. It actually says, "CAUTION: Never leave smoking baby unattended while lit."

Now let me tell you, I've been pretty lit more times than I can count, but I don't think I was ever hammered enough to leave a smoking baby unattended. I'm responsible like that.


  1. You are the only person I know who would own this, much less blog it.

  2. Precious. That Caution label is something that should be stored inside a time-tube and buried six feet down for future generations to find. I'm sure it would leave them scratching their heads for many days.

  3. That is probably the funniest thing I've seen in awhile.

  4. You'd be a great dad.

    F'in hilarious man.

  5. Now you know what to get me for Christmas, JV. I'd LOVE a smoking baby...

  6. What's up with smoking baby's right eye? It's really freaking me out. I think he's been smoking more than just incense if you know what I mean.

  7. This would go great with the little plastic donkey that shits peanut m&m's when you pump his tail.

  8. Anonymous4:59 PM

    You ever watch one of those talk shows where they have teenage girls who want to have babies, so as an exercise they give them a doll to take care of for a week? I only saw five minutes of one, but anyway I think that's what this is, only they are getting more progressive and now make smoking therapy dolls. The label is part of the education.