4/6/05

Pick your excrement

So I got to work today, and ate a protein bar with my coffee.

This particular bar was covered in chocolate, a piece of which I managed to drop on my lap without noticing. My pants today, for people keeping track, are a light khaki color. Those of you who know me (really, really well) know that I have a very hot crotch. Before I realized it, the aforementioned VHC proceeded to melt chocolate all over the front of my pants.

At this point I had a decision to make: Walk around all day looking like I had a serious and unfortunate wiping accident, or hide at my desk with imitation pee stains. It was really a no brainer. Temporary pee stains trump permanent poop stains every time. I grabbed some paper towels and water, and proceeded to soak the entire front of my pants scrubbing out the chocolate. Now I can't leave my desk for about a half hour.

Good times.

7 comments:

  1. OMG this is totally something that would happen to me.

    P.S. I am calling you VHC or Hot Crotch from now on.

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  2. I like the way you think on the fly...

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  3. One other option is to just walk around like nothing's up, and if people look at your crotch go "Yeah I know it looks like I spilled water on my pants but it's ok it's just urine"

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  4. Oh dear god that's great as this is something that happens to me all the time. Only mine falls onto the chair and then it looks like I crapped in my chair.

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  5. Unknowingly spilling milk onto the crumb catchers and having it dry there looking like you've just breast fed a daycare center is always fun too.

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  6. Damn, of all the days not to have a minute to check your blog.... I could have laughed at you in person. Damn!

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  7. Double Damn! If I had read this earlier, I would have driven over to your building, then called in a fake bomb threat to cause a fire drill.

    Dammit.

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