Get it togetha, baby.

Don't get me wrong, I do think Wanda Sykes can be funny. But those Applebees commercials drive me bat-shit insane. I can't even imagine the truckloads of cash they must have offered her to get her to become the official voice of the Black Apple. I know that sounds like the name of a new superhero, but trust me, it's not. It's just a talking apple. With no face. With no... anything really. Oh, a hat. I think it has a hat now.

But all winter-wear aside, it's just an apple. That's it.

The sheer un-brilliance of this idea just boggles my mind. I can't believe someone from a supposedly high-ticket ad agency pitched it, and I can't believe someone at Applebees signed off on it.

I know you could use the argument "Hey, if you had a talking apple, you wouldn't be saying "Oh, it's just a talking apple, no big deal" and you'd be right. If I actually had a talking apple in my posession, it wouldn't take me long to parlay that into becoming rich beyond my wildest dreams. Unless of course it sounded like Wanda. Then I would just be moderately well-to-do, because talking apple or not, nobody can actually listen to her voice for any length of time without being driven to a homicidal rage. It sounds like a power saw cutting sheet metal. The same holds true for Rosie Perez and Fran Drescher, now that I think about it.

It really doesn't do much either. I guess that's fair, since it has no appendages to speak of. It just sort of....bounces around slightly in one place while it tells you what to do.

Also, I'm not sure what sort of apple-y orifice it actually uses to speak, but I think it's safe to assume that it's not being done telepathically, because I don't think Wanda wouldn't go for that. I am pretty sure that no matter how big the payoff, she would draw the line at mind-voicing telepathic restaurant-chain apples. That's all speculation on my part, of course. I could be wrong.

I'd still like to see the version of the commercial where the guy being berated by the black apple finally has enough, and he scoops it up and takes a giant bite out of it right at the table. Then, while his wife and children look on in horror, he continues to eat it until the screaming stops.

I guess it's pretty obvious why my career in advertising didn't work out.

Bonus question of the day: I've recently been approached by a company that wants to pay me a small amount of money to run a series of short, humorous videos on my blog. I've only seen the first one, and it wasn't horrible. They assure me that the rest are funnier. There's nine of them in total, and if I agree, they'd be run twice a week for a month. I am currently weighing what's left of my blogger integrity against the offer of cold hard cash, and unbelievably, I'm still undecided. One day I lean toward becoming a professional whore -- mostly because my roof is leaking -- but on other days I think that I don't particularly enjoy videos on blogs. There is also the possibility that the videos may actually turn out to be funny. Let me know your two cents.

feed: humor-blogs.com


  1. Wanda Sykes grates on my last raw exposed bleeding nerve. Hate her.

    Go for the videos Johnny! If you don't try, you'll never know. Right?

  2. Take the money and fix the roof. We don't have to watch the videos if we don't want to.

  3. Go ahead, take the money. Don't let my absence stop you.

  4. Anonymous2:53 PM

    I thought I was alone at staring dumbfounded at the television the first time I saw that ad. The creative process is always hit or miss, but c'mon. I've seen our family dog show more creativity in how he squats to crap in the snow; and I'd frankly, rather watch that for 30 seconds, even in inclement weather.

    ...And take the money. A roof hole is very unfunny business.

  5. I was wondering why you didn't post a video of the ad and the end of your post answered that. I'm going to have to google for it now coz am curious about its irritation potential.
    On a different note, your blog happens to be really popular and an offer of money for a few video posts is probably what some bloggers would think of as a windfall... well, fame and fortune in blogland seem to come rare so I personally think you ought to go for it. Unless of course, you write this blog with a different purpose in mind and the whole video posting thing seems to deviate a radan from that purpose. Good luck either way :)

  6. JV ... Do you get the right to edit or do all nine have to run? If good, this could help you become even more famous than you already are since JC Penney. If bad, you'll still have us regulars who don't HAVE to play the videos, as mentioned above. Go for it!

  7. Dolla Dolla Bill Ya'll

  8. I have no idea what commericial you are talking about or even who Wanda Sykes is, so I'll skip that part and go straight to your bonus question.
    I don't know, JV. I guess it depends on how much $ they are offering and how bad you need it. I know that I view my blog as ALL MINE, and I would never put something on it for any reason other than that I want it to be on there, know what I mean?
    But I doubt anyone will stop reading your blog because of the videos, unless they suck really bad.

  9. Anonymous3:29 PM

    Take the money, no guarantees about how any people will watch the videos. I'd try watching at least one. It is $$$ anyway and who couldn't use more of that?

  10. Johnny, I HATE video posts too. It is the ultimate cop-out in a forum for originality. I don't watch em, I don't post em. But uuuuh..

    ...how much jack we talkin???

    Just kidding. Put it on the side next to, not instead of, the posts. (then fix the roof)

  11. My vote: professional whore. Now fix your roof!

  12. I've only posted once before. The hilarity of the JCPenney post drew me here. You write just like my little brother would, if he had a BLOG.

    I'll give you the advice I'd give to my baby brother. GO FOR IT. You won't lose your readership for 9 videos. Even those of us who lurk think you need to fix your roof.

    And if watching a video is what I need to do to read your funny view on life, so be it. It's worth it in my mind.

  13. what luck to get paid! the rest of us bloggers should be so lucky. J, get your $$$.

  14. Well, after 3 hours on the roof, I think I've got that bit fixed. It was an ice dam. So now only some minor sheet rock repair.

    Damon, one of the stipulations is that it has to be in the "content" area of the blog. I don't know.

  15. All I can say is, why didnt they show you the FUNNY ones first?

  16. Anonymous4:33 PM

    I love Wanda Sykes but I hate those tedious un-funny commercials.

    I say take the money. I sometimes click on a video and if it bores me, I just click pause and move on.

    Nothing wrong with turning a legal buck now and then.

  17. FA - It's only "dinner out" money, not "mortgage payment" money.

    We've already established what I am, now we're just negotiating my price.

  18. Long time lurker first time commentator.
    I’d say take the money and run. I think you’re funny enough to pull it off.

    Glad I wasn’t the only one wondering why in hell I was watching an apple try to sell me something. I’m not gullible enough to fall for it, applesauce… maybe.

  19. On the one hand, I read your blog because it's unadulteratedly, purely you. I know I'm not going to be wasting my time, because I've loved all your posts. It'd be nice to keep on enjoying virgin Johnny.

    On the other hand, I myself hawk everything from yeast infection medication to cheese that supposedly makes you regular; so from a whore point of view, I'm down with you making money.

    My vote'd be to go get that check, so I'm not alone in my whoredom.

  20. Anonymous5:21 PM

    As long as you have regular blog posts in between, perhaps disparaging the humour of said videos, feel free to post them and rake in whatever dough you can squeeze out of them...

  21. I totally agree, those are really irritating commercials. But the one that drives me totally batshit crazy is the verizon commercial with the guy and girl who are "SO" in love they're talking really really annoying baby talk at each other, and then the sales me starts doing it too. I just can't watch it. gives me a nervous tick every time.

  22. don't get me started on these commericals LOL

    as far as the videos--if you feel they are worthy enough to be on your blog by all means cash in!

    I love reading your blog and I cna't imagine if the videos were't worthy then you will put them on.

    BTW, my husband is NOT a blog lurker like I am; however, I have started reading your blog to him and we laugh our ass off! thanks for the laughs--it's great way to end his day after working all day.

  23. JV, post the videos. I have a feeling after it's all said and done we may get a funny blog post. If not we can all look back a ways down the road and say, "Wow, you remember when JV posted those terrible videos? Haha, they were awful."

    Then we all have a laugh and ride off into the sunset...er, something to that effect.

    Nonetheless, get the money. I feel like I should be paying you for some of this stuff. It's that good.

  24. Anonymous6:22 PM

    Any agreement that would keep you from lampooning the videos if they're bad? It could be a windfall of material falling into your lap.

    Though that might put a damper of any future advertising offers...

    (back to lurk)


  25. Maybe we should ask the apple about what she thinks about the videos, no, she'll say take the money. I'm sure of it!

  26. I agree, HATE the Applebee's ads. The apple makes me want to find the people at the ad agency and choke every last one of them including the receptionist and the guy that cleans the office.

    Go for the videos.

  27. Mmm, I think the Applebee's ads bug me because the food is sooooooo bad there, that the only thing saving the restaurant are those annoying ads. Sadly that is a testament not to the success of advertising, but to the average IQ of Americans.

    Dude, the best line in Untamed Heart (1993) was delivered by Rosie Perez:

    "What? Him? Ovah theyah? He looks like a toohmah."

  28. Anonymous7:10 PM

    Not having a TV, I can't comment on the ads, but...

    There's nothing wrong with being a whore, especially since video ones don't get those diseases (generally). And even if *you* can't comment on them, we can, if they're really stanky.

  29. Anonymous7:17 PM

    kc said....not having a tv

    I'm astounded. clearly not a ludite evidenced by a computer...why the absence of living culture in your life? There is far more than major network broadcasts, you know?

  30. Hey man, as long as I have the ability to turn them off if they totally stink (which would officially end my lurking career on your blog), then grab that cash in both hands and run.

  31. rake it in Mr J.V
    I am all for "dinner-out" money. (even more so if its out my husbands wallet than mine)

    I won't think any less of you...


  32. Anonymous8:40 PM

    I am one that thinks that Sykes is not funny, she couldn't be a pimple on Whoopies ass.

  33. How much money are we talking? Can we get a cut?

  34. I work in marketing and TRUST me when I tell you they would have - and probably did - pitched you the best video they had in their arsenal.

    WHY would you show someone the ALMOST best car/nose job/ tattoo/video when you're trying to get them to agree to get/do it? Uh-uh.

    Heyyyy...maybe that's how they sold the Applebee's commercials.

    "Yeah, this one is just an annoying apple, but the REST - ho! - the rest are CLASSIC."

  35. Everyone's a sell-out, it's all about the price, so don't fret about that. The question is, how much control do you have over the content. For instance, say the subsequent videos are extolling the virtues of torturing kittens (assuming you are against such things), would you be able to veto the vid?
    I'd say, check the small print before signing anything, and make sure you get the right to check over and veto any content being placed on your site before you sign. If they won't give you that, then it's evidence (though not proof) that they've got something to hide.
    Also, check the Blogger terms and conditions to make sure there's nothing there forbidding it (though Google are usually pretty benign).
    That's my 2cents (although being in Australia that only converts to 1.8 US cents, so it's a bit short).

  36. Take the money. We devoted fans can just look at the videos and say to ourselves, "JV isn't as funny today as he usually is." It will make some of us feel better about our own lame-o blogs.

  37. My buddy John referred my to you and I love your humor.

    On the vidoes, I'd say give it try--no longer term commitments.

    I have a post on some other advertising that sucks. I hope you don't mind a shameless plug: http://dadintheheadlights.wordpress.com/2008/02/11/lets-all-go-to-scotland/

  38. I'm a standup comic. I love Wanda Sykes. The commercial blows.

    On to the vids. Dude, it's 2008. It's all about the internet. Stop being all apologetic and insecure when people want your talent.

    Maybe it's because I've been in the biz since forever, but in our world, there is NO SHAME in making money off of any art you care to shoot out there.

    Get over yourself. Fast. Because most of what is out there sucks. Take the compliment and run.

  39. Go for it JV! I like videos. If they're boring I just stop and move on. No big deal. If they're actually funny, then just think of it as 'sharing'.
    Another voice that makes me want to poke out my eardrums -Kathy Griffin.

  40. Anonymous12:58 AM

    Uh, as far as the videos...why would they try to sell you on one of the lesser-funny videos? I'm not a salesman, but I think you're supposed to start with the best stuff you have and THEN not deliver.

    Then again, if they're paying you it's not really a sale, is it?

  41. Hmmm....if you've already fixed the roof and you're ambivalent about the content of the videos and compromising what is the brilliance of your solo blog, then I say take the offer as a *huge* compliment and pass. Surely you can afford dinner out on your own?

    (And if they want you bad enough they'll up their offer)

  42. Anonymous2:38 AM

    i read your blog with a "blog reader", which filters out videos and all other imbeds. So go nuts - I'll be oblivious.

  43. Point 1 - Wanda Sykes is worse than Omaha Beach on D-Day. Get me the hell out of here.

    Point 2 - Take the money. It's money for F-sakes. Who cares about integrity. They're not asking you to sell your good name, just some space on your blog. If you won't do it, I will. I could use another trip to Hawaii right about now. Oh. And if you get paid more if we actually watch the videos, I'll watch them twice. Even if they suck. Hope you get your new roof.

    Point 3 - With or without videos, you're hilarious and I'll still love your blog.

    Point 4 - I'm new to this blogging thing. I didn't know that posting videos was for losers with no creativity. I'll stop. Or I won't.

  44. Ditto on Wanda Sykes. Geez.

    Could you ask to see the videos before agreeing to post them (seems logical to me)? I mean, your faithful readers expect humor here, and you do not want to disappoint.

    But I have to agree with several other posters--I'm not going to stop reading your blog just because you "sold out." I might watch the first few videos. Not funny? Won't waste my time watching the rest, and as long as you see the green, we aren't going to think less of you.

    Unless you, in all your blogger richness, stop being funny. That IS what we're here for, after all.

  45. Anonymous7:22 AM

    My word verification is "hoxit". It sounds German for "go for it, biotch!" Hoxit!!!!!!!!

  46. Take the money, who gives a shi-ite. You love the Canyonaro anyway Crusty.

    Wanda Sikes is an outstanding stand-up comedian.

    I'm no literary critic, but did you plan to write a piece about a comedian "selling-out" by doing a commercial while simultaneously asking if you should "sell out" by hosting another's content.

  47. Miss gravy, that is what made me think of the apple commercial.

  48. OK, seems to me that if you're questioning it at all you probably don't want to do it. You already fixed the roof, and it's not mortgagepaying dough. By now you've likely had a few invitations to dinner from your readers, so why not just see how many dinners you can get withOUT having the videos on your blog.


    p.s. I'LL fee ya.

  49. Anonymous10:11 AM

    LOVE your blog. I actually never commented before, but felt the need to weigh-in on the video thing. If it were me, I'd take the money. Even if it's not big-deal money, so what? It's a start. Who knows - maybe the videos could lead to different opportunities for more cash from your blog. And let's face it - we're all whores, really, in almost every aspect of our lives!

  50. Anonymous10:25 AM

    Run the videos with the caviat that you'll be free to make any comments you want.

  51. You ain't Jack and you ain't Dianne... take the money and run.

  52. Anonymous11:02 AM

    I would just say that you should see all the videos yourself before agreeing to it. It might start out as funny and end up being some evangelist junk. Love Your Blog!

  53. JV - long time reader, first time commenter... I'm another Penny's convert, and I've been reading it eversince. BTW - I also recommend it to just about everyone I know... I laugh my ass off in my tiny windowless office after every post. I don't think you'd lose many/any patrons by "selling out." I say, the more power to you.
    Since I'm posting from Ontario, like the Aussie, I guess that brings me in just under two cents US too... TC - I love your work!!


  54. Anonymous11:15 AM

    A. Wanda Sykes is annoying and overrated.
    B. Applebee's has to be the worst national restaurant chain in the US.
    C. You don't strike me as the type of person that would sacrifice his integrity for $50--which is probably why you asked the question.
    D. If a company offered you $50 to hang an ad on the side of your house, would you do it? Of course not-it would look ridiculous. More people see your blog than see your house, ergo...

  55. Anonymous11:51 AM

    Do it do it do it! Where will we see the videos?

  56. as we say in showbiz: a gig is a gig. you are not sacrificing your artistic integrity, you are just getting renting space. We will all still read you and love you!

    And if they are funny, more material, if they are terrible, even better. We will enjoy reading what you have to say about that!

    Wanda Sykes always scared me a little, like she was about to "slap the stupid" out of anyone she is talking to.

  57. Anonymous1:08 PM

    That Apple is classic advertising. It makes me want to eat at applebees so they'll stop telling me to.

    On another note, professional whorism is the oldest profession, just don't take any wooden nickels. I don't really know what that means, but old people say it all the time.

  58. Anonymous2:41 PM

    I won't stop reading, even if the videos are bad. I say whore away!

  59. Integrity? Whom are we kidding? Whore youself. It's only for a short time. You don't have to do it again if you don't like how it goes.

  60. HeyJoe, you sound like my pimp/drug dealer. "Go ahead, just try it once. You can always quit if you don't like it."

    As far as my "integrity" goes...yeah, I'm not kidding anyone. I guess my quandary is this: If the videos were hilarious, then I'd probably post them for free. And if the money they offered me was ten times more, I'd post them regardless of their humorous content. In fact, if they paid me enough, I'd post videos of midget porn if they wanted me to. See? It's a delicate balance.

    I'm waiting to see if I can screen them all beforehand. I guess it's supposed to be episodic, so that's why they only showed me the first one, and might explain why they said it gets funnier as it goes along.

    Thanks for the input, everyone. I can see what the demographic of my blog is -- whores outweigh non-whores 30 to 1!

  61. Anonymous3:08 PM

    Hey, if Wanda Sykes is whore enough to sign up for those ridiculous commercials you can surely make a little bank on your blog.

    Personally, as long as the videos aren't replacing your posts I'm fine with it.

  62. Are you nuts? Take the money and run the video. Personally, I'd take it and invest it in a fish condo. You can never go wrong with real estate.

  63. Dilf, I had a fixed rate mortgage on a fish condo, and I was renting it out. Then my tenant stopped paying his rent, and when I went to collect it in person, not only was he gone, but before he left that bastard shit all over everything. Now I have to clean the whole place before I rent it out again. And with the whole subprime fiasco, even if I wanted to sell, I can't even get what I paid for it.

  64. Anonymous6:10 PM

    I do think the tour of the apple's house was kind of cute, the first time.

    I hate the Burger King and the little hands guys. Dwarfer! Yikes!

  65. In all seriousness, I still say post the videos. As many others have said, so long as you still write, we're still laughing which means we're still happy. If the videos suck, we'll forgive you. Don't worry about your integrity. The fact that you care at all means you have integrity.

    For the record, I don't like being called a whore. I prefer Remunerated Promiscuity and Pleasure Specialist.

  66. I absolute hate those commercials as well! thank you...i was watching something last night and one came on and i just wanted to throw my shoe through the screen...but that would have meant actually getting up and that wasnt happening...
    on the money thing...what the hell...do it...if it doesn't work out...lesson learned...if it does...the roof gets fixed...
    just my 2 cents

  67. If you don't wanna do it, I will.

    I poke holes in people for a living and the cash... not so good this month.

    PS - Hate those $*()@&# apple ads!

  68. Do you like Crapplebee's? (we call them that here in Jersey for obvious reasons)

    I feel like the worse the commercial is the more I remember it (I know the io Digital Cable phone # by heart now due to the obnoxious rap that has incessantly been played since Christmas and admitedly find myself actually singing it from time to time!).

    If those Ad Dudes knew there were 50 or so people from all over the world discussing the validity of their talking apple just in one blog post on one blog site....I think they would consider their job well done.

    If you get to see the content prior-take the cash and take wifey on a date-maybe pick places you know will give you blog fodder so you can strike a moral balance within yourself by making up for the rented post with dirtywhoresellout date night tales.

    Good Luck with the decision. You will make the right choice.


  69. Anonymous10:16 PM

    It could have been worse, it could have been rosie perez's voice. "Oh muy gaaawwwdd git it tagethah!"

    do the video thing, im sure it'll only sting for a sec.

  70. It seems that taking money for something you already do anyway is a bit of a no-brainer. Take the coin and chuckle all the way to the bank. I'm guessing you have plenty of loyal readers. We'll stick with you; if only to get one more story about The Snitch, Houdini, The Slug or Special Dark. And, if it turns into an abysmal failure; we'll let you know.

    On a less important note: I actually used to like Wanda. At one time she had some pretty good stand-up comedy. Now she's just another sell-out.

    This sums up my drop in the ocean of compromise.

  71. Anonymous11:15 AM

    JV- Go for the cash. As mentioned previously, we don't have to watch the video. It's essential to have a non-leaking roof and they ain't cheap.

    Oh, and if you haven't already, check out the Onion article about the "kitchen floor conflict". I know you have a cat so you will appreciate it. Actually, it sounds like something you might have written.

  72. Anonymous11:48 AM

    "because talking apple or not, nobody can actually listen to her voice for any length of time without being driven to a homicidal rage"

    HA HA HA *snort* ha ha ha ha

    very funny. because it's true.

  73. As a marketing professional I agree - the Applebee's ad's are atrocious. And Wanda Sykes must be scraping for cash to agree to that ridiculous series.

  74. Anonymous1:46 PM

    No one could have played Biggie Shorty better than Wanda. Wanda outshines any other actor in "The New Adventures of Old Christine". However, the Wanda-apple doesn't make me want to eat at Applebees. All their food tastes like peanuts anyway.

    If I had another source of income to help pay for my roofguttershousepaintfloorrefinishingdrywalling, I'd take it but not at the expense of my reputation (if I had one). Depends on the content I suppose. Demand content approval.

  75. Anonymous1:54 PM

    Takte the money. We can always ignore the videos.

  76. thank you. i now think of apples as having anuses.

  77. Anonymous4:51 PM

    so will you be making with the smart ass commentary and completely dissecting the videos, or are you supposed to pretend to like them?

    in the first case, it might be ok.

  78. Anonymous5:00 PM

    Will you be allowed to make fun of the vids if they aren't funny? Cuz then you'd have the moolah AND blog fodder. I'd read you if you put vids on your blog; if I'm not in the mood to watch I just come back when you don't have one posted.

  79. Anonymous5:00 PM

    It definitely falls into the "selling out" category, but whoever decided selling out was a bad thing? I'd like to meet that guy and then give him a dollar because he's probably broke.

  80. So what are they advertising? Sorry, I live in Spain and haven't seen those ads.

    About the videos, go for the cash. Maybe they'll be funny, and otherwise we'll quit watching...but we will come back to read your stuff. :)

  81. Anonymous9:29 PM

    Prostitution is the oldest profession, after all. I say take the money.

  82. Those Applebees commercials piss me right off, too.

    Honestly? I would be sort of hesitant to mess with your blog. It is so great the way it is. That is my official two cents, but cash is cash

  83. Anonymous12:44 PM

    Screw what anyone else thinks and take the money. It's not like you're rich and famous and can afford to have pseudo "integrity." Bloggers need to take it where they can find it, and you deserve the money. I certainly won't think less of you; in fact, I'm envious.

  84. Anonymous12:47 PM

    P.S. It's not like you'd be advertising for baby killers, or seal clubbers, or Klansmen.

    Or is it?

  85. I hate Applebees advertiser's so much right now. Who in their right mind would pick the ear-sore-of-a-voice Wanda Sykes as their "spokes apple"?

    Apparently Quality Assurance didn't do enough consumer testing. The tv commercial's are bad enough, but every time the radio commercials come on, I have to fight the compulsion to ram my car into the concrete embankment.

    Seriously, I think we should banish her and Fran (& whomever else with nails-on-chalkboard voices) to some sort of tropic island so they can annoy eachother's ears instead of ours for the rest of their lives.

  86. Heather, It might be. I've only seen the first episode, so I'm not sure. There was a gay joke in the first scene, so I'm thinking the KKK will be clubbing seals by episode 3. 4 at the latest.

  87. Hey,

    sell-out first chance ya get...ya may not get another.

    rock on,


  88. Anonymous7:27 PM

    I wonder if Wanda started out this way:
    "Hey, they want me to do this Applebee's ad. It's not great money, but hey, cash is cash. Should I compromise my irritating voice skills and do it?"

    And the rest is history...

  89. Well I'd personally enjoy if the Apple suddenly got all nasty and said, "Lick my apple sauce bitch!" but since that won't happen I must join the throng of people who really think the adverts sucks.

    As for posting the vids, you have a conscience, and that’s fine, but not many people can make any amount of money from bloggin’ and it’s probably a dream for them, one which you’re getting a chance to live. Now, the money is not much but all I’m going to say is that if works, there might be a repeat and if there’s a repeat, other people might get the idea that blogger specific ads are a good idea, then we’d all get paid. So I’m going to one up the whoreness and add some selfish anti-integrity, take the money so maybe some of us other bloggers can someday look back and say thanks for selling out, now we can all cash in and laugh at the people that think we’ll take their ads seriously.


  90. take the money.

  91. As long as the videos don't involve Wanda Sykes, go for it.

  92. I won't be able to watch your videos cause of our stupid dial up connection, so go ahead and take the money. I have a better idea, why don't you write a book and then they can make it into a sitcom and run Applebee commercials. I would buy your book for sure!

  93. You said: "I'd still like to see the version of the commercial where the guy being berated by the black apple finally has enough, and he scoops it up and takes a giant bite out of it right at the table. Then, while his wife and children look on in horror, he continues to eat it until the screaming stops."
    And I passed tea through my nose. Ow. It was worth it. Take the money.

  94. Anonymous12:56 PM

    Completely OT here...

    Wow. When did you change the pic in your profile? You are totally hot. Smart, funny and hot. So not fair you are already married, but I'm not surprised. Damn...

  95. Ditto on taking the money. And ditto on the "new hotness" picture.

  96. 101st drop of water thru your leaking roof!!

    take the cash.


  97. 102 Comments! That has to be some kind of record JV.
    See what happens when you go without posting? People are starting to jones.

  98. "The sheer un-brilliance of this idea just boggles my mind. I can't believe someone from a supposedly high-ticket ad agency pitched it, and I can't believe someone at Applebees signed off on it."

    Having spent my time in the ad biz, this is what amazes me about ALL bad advertising -some putz at the agency dreamed up this lame-o idea & thought it was good, at least 2-3 higher-up agency putzes thought it was good & approved pitching it to the client, and then a bunch of other putzes on the client side thought it was good & approved it before it got to the public.

    Then as soon as it airs, WE all know it's incredibly stupid. I always wonder about the putzes who thought it was good enough to spend millions on...

    BTW, take the jing.

  99. Haven't seen the commercials in question. I don't watch TV 'cause I don't want my brain to rot, so I read blogs instead, which are far more wholesome and healthy and good for the mind. Right?

    About the vids: were I in your shoes, I would make it clear that I would be happy to run the vids and take their money with the understanding that I would retain my freedom of speech in connection with same. In other words: yeah, I'll show 'em on my blog, but I reserve the right to make fun of them. Hey, caveat emptor...

  100. Anonymous12:29 PM

    I don't think the videos are a bad idea. Just make sure they don't start playing at an eardrum-shattering volume the second the window opens. That way, I don't have to scramble to mute the damn thing or close window before I get fired...

  101. Go for the video. You deserve the cash.

  102. Anonymous11:52 PM

    I don't mind videos on blogs. You don't have to click on them, right?

  103. Anonymous4:39 PM

    I was actually in the room with the APPB CMO when they debuted the two guitar idiots from 2 years ago. I got yelled at for being so critical and not seeing the big picture. I know the exact idiots who greenlight this shit and amazingly it is not a bunch of monkeys flinging poo at oversized keyboards randomly typing ideas.

  104. Don't get me wrong, I do think Wanda Sykes can be funny.


    I loved when Bill Cosby when bat-shit on her at the Emmys a few years ago.

  105. Anonymous11:24 PM

    I happen to live next to the town where Applebee's has their home office (though it might not be anymore since they were bought by IHOP). When I saw the following story in today's paper, I thought of you (and your faithful readers/commentators) right away and had to share:

    It’s back to its roots for Applebee’s
    The Kansas City Star

    Applebee’s self-professed “bold, innovative” ad campaign featuring a talking apple voiced by comedian and actress Wanda Sykes lasted all of four months.

    The Lenexa-based casual dining chain, which was acquired last year by IHOP Corp., had hoped to cut through the crowded clutter in its category by creating an iconic image that consumers would instantly connect to Applebee’s. It thought it had a hit with the talking-apple campaign — the first from agency McCann-Erickson Worldwide in New York — which made its debut in late October.

    IHOP spokesman Patrick Lenow said Friday that the campaign had “run its course.”

    “As marketing evolves, this has gone a new direction with a new campaign,” Lenow said.

    A new effort, which broke March 3, is a return to more traditional advertising seen in the casual dining segment — pretty people sitting around a table in restaurant having a good time.

    “This was an opportunity to take our marketing in a new direction, that was produced by McCann-Erickson — and they’re still on board with us — and highlights our desire, as the commercial shows, to raise the bar on grill and bar food,” Lenow said. “We think it shows great images of the food that’s unique to Applebee’s and all in a setting that show guests out having a good time at their Applebee’s.”

    Last week at an investor conference in New York, IHOP chairwoman and chief executive officer Julia Stewart further illuminated the company’s thinking about Applebee’s advertising, which totals $200 million a year.

    “So we got rid of the talking apple,” Stewart told a group of Bear Stearns & Co. analysts. “We’ve gone back to what we know best, which is an Applebee’s that does things differently than everybody else, positions them well in the category. … You can get a quesadilla anywhere, but you can’t get a steak tower quesadilla anywhere except Applebee’s.”

  106. Take the money! I'd say stipulate to them if you find something to inspire some trashing of the content its win win because its exposure for both of you.

    9 videos, two a month... not bad. Could lead to good things... like two dinners out a month lol.

    Bob Dylan sold times are a changing to the Bank of Montreal and he's still got his dignity - do it, do it.

  107. Wanda Sykes must be very happy with the pay !