It's good to be back.

Even though it's raining, I'm digging the "everything's green" vibe back here in NY.

Arizona in August will suck the moisture out of your body and leave your dried husk to blow away into the desert, so obviously it's the perfect weather for outside shopping.

My wife and her friend were browsing a few stores in old Scottsdale, and I was a little bored, since shopping isn't my thing. I was sitting outside on a bench, thumbing through a free local music and arts magazine that every town seems to have, and I noticed an ad for a local strip club that claimed to have "Simply the hottest women in Scottsdale."

I will let you be the judge:

Maybe it's just me, but if that's an example of one of the hottest women in Scottsdale, I am thinking they might have a serious issue in that town. I'm all for a set of sexy lips, but when you look like a lamprey eel that just kissed a hot iron, that's not a huge turn on for me.

I've never actually had a lapdance, but I can easily imagine that getting one from this girl would be the last thing I ever did. Well, the last thing I ever did before she transformed me into a bloodsucking creature of the night, I mean.


  1. SCARY! Was that his booking photo?

  2. What, you no likey the trout pout?

  3. I think it's something about the unhinged, snake-like jaw that I don't like.

  4. It's called the blowfish. You do it on glass. But if you do it too often, well, it's like your mom said. They'll get stuck like that forever. Tragic, isn't it? Note how it causes normal eyebrows and good taste to dissapear immediately. There's got to be a ribbon we can wear to raise awareness or *something*.

  5. Hehe.

    This can help you understand just what this place called Scottsdale is about....