9/20/06

Superfreak.

Kellogg's makes a "Fruit-Flavored Snack" that ties into the hype for the newest Superman movie. A package of these were given to me recently by the 3 year old son of a friend of ours. They are along the lines of gummy bears, and there are a few different shapes. While most of them are the standard amorphous blobs you are used to seeing, Lex Luthor looks like this:



I am all for realism in my candy, but holy crap. This thing would scare the living shit out of a small child.

I half expected to hear crunching bone when I bit into it. It's the first candy I ever had that seemed actively pissed off that I was eating it. The whole time I was chewing, I felt like he was just waiting for a chance to get lodged in my throat and kill me.

How did it taste? I think it was supposed to be grape, but it was kinda bitter and almost devoid of any grape-like flavor, natural or otherwise.

My advice to you -- avoid Lex Luthor's head if at all possible.*






*That sounds pretty gay.

9 comments:

  1. Maybe he's pissed because they gave him like 7 chins. Seriously you have to wonder what the people at this company were thinking. Is there a huge market for people wanting to eat things that look like humans? I can't believe you ate it. I wouldn't have been able to.

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  2. I never comment here. It's a crime, but I'm excusing myself on the basis that I wasn't a regular reader until recently. (I was also waiting until I had a post up that I wouldn't mind being your introduction to my blog.)

    But the double whammy of a fan-friggin-tastic clown mockery post and for voicing my thoughts in the form of wondering whether there was bone under that head* you gets a comment. This one.

    Well done. I think somebody just might find himself on Mis Blogo's Favoritos: the highest internet honor you weren't aware of.

    - Scott

    * They could have easily done "bone" with peanuts and/or nougat. Talk about a lost opportunity.

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  3. What is with the term "living shit" - I mean, really, is it crawling, growing or breathing? - Now that would be scary....

    Lex's head - hmmmmmm...

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  4. Lol that is the kind of candy that will stalk you at night and eat YOU.

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  5. Anonymous8:46 PM

    My first thought was that I could immediately tell that THAT Lex Luthor wasn't portrayed by Kevin Spacey. Then I was concerned that they had managed to acheive that much realism with what is probably a combination of horse hooves and rubber.

    In fact, I would go so far as to say I am 100% certain that that's Gene Hackman's head you're biting into. Well done. I've wanted to gnaw on him for AGES.

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  6. Whoops, sorry...that anonymous shouldn't be. Tis I!

    www.livejournal.com/users/_nessa_lykke_/

    www.nanookthenewfy.blogspot.com

    etc.

    You know. Me.

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  7. Sarah -- it didn't bleed. Much.

    Nessa -- I was halfway through the comment and I knew who wrote it.

    STH - thanks man.

    Heather -- I have no idea. dead shit doesn't have the same ring to it.

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  8. JV - I hope that's because of my unique writing 'voice'...which I totally have. Totally.

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  9. Kids' cereal is gross. My 5-year-old grandson loves something called Mighty Bites, which looks like cat food.

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