9/20/06
Superfreak.
Kellogg's makes a "Fruit-Flavored Snack" that ties into the hype for the newest Superman movie. A package of these were given to me recently by the 3 year old son of a friend of ours. They are along the lines of gummy bears, and there are a few different shapes. While most of them are the standard amorphous blobs you are used to seeing, Lex Luthor looks like this:
I am all for realism in my candy, but holy crap. This thing would scare the living shit out of a small child.
I half expected to hear crunching bone when I bit into it. It's the first candy I ever had that seemed actively pissed off that I was eating it. The whole time I was chewing, I felt like he was just waiting for a chance to get lodged in my throat and kill me.
How did it taste? I think it was supposed to be grape, but it was kinda bitter and almost devoid of any grape-like flavor, natural or otherwise.
My advice to you -- avoid Lex Luthor's head if at all possible.
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Maybe he's pissed because they gave him like 7 chins. Seriously you have to wonder what the people at this company were thinking. Is there a huge market for people wanting to eat things that look like humans? I can't believe you ate it. I wouldn't have been able to.
ReplyDeleteI never comment here. It's a crime, but I'm excusing myself on the basis that I wasn't a regular reader until recently. (I was also waiting until I had a post up that I wouldn't mind being your introduction to my blog.)
ReplyDeleteBut the double whammy of a fan-friggin-tastic clown mockery post and for voicing my thoughts in the form of wondering whether there was bone under that head* you gets a comment. This one.
Well done. I think somebody just might find himself on Mis Blogo's Favoritos: the highest internet honor you weren't aware of.
- Scott
* They could have easily done "bone" with peanuts and/or nougat. Talk about a lost opportunity.
What is with the term "living shit" - I mean, really, is it crawling, growing or breathing? - Now that would be scary....
ReplyDeleteLex's head - hmmmmmm...
Lol that is the kind of candy that will stalk you at night and eat YOU.
ReplyDeleteMy first thought was that I could immediately tell that THAT Lex Luthor wasn't portrayed by Kevin Spacey. Then I was concerned that they had managed to acheive that much realism with what is probably a combination of horse hooves and rubber.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, I would go so far as to say I am 100% certain that that's Gene Hackman's head you're biting into. Well done. I've wanted to gnaw on him for AGES.
Whoops, sorry...that anonymous shouldn't be. Tis I!
ReplyDeletewww.livejournal.com/users/_nessa_lykke_/
www.nanookthenewfy.blogspot.com
etc.
You know. Me.
Sarah -- it didn't bleed. Much.
ReplyDeleteNessa -- I was halfway through the comment and I knew who wrote it.
STH - thanks man.
Heather -- I have no idea. dead shit doesn't have the same ring to it.
JV - I hope that's because of my unique writing 'voice'...which I totally have. Totally.
ReplyDeleteKids' cereal is gross. My 5-year-old grandson loves something called Mighty Bites, which looks like cat food.
ReplyDelete