No Chinese Food for Germy.

I was packing up my stuff to leave the office today, when my cellphone buzzed. I had a text message. I never get text messages, and I never send them -- mostly because I have a number pad on my phone and not a keyboard, which means I have to hit a key three or four times for a single letter, and frankly, it's not worth it.

So needless to say, I was intrigued. I read the message, and it was obviously a wrong number.

It said:

Hey, it's Mel. Want to reclaim the room tonight and order chinese and watch a movie? Mad bitches are going out and I don't want to be in the room alone with Germy.

So I immediately wrote back.

Germy sounds pretty hot. Chinese sounds great! None for Germy though.

A few minutes later, Mel replied with:

Awesome! When do you want to meet back there?

I replied: Six or so? What should I wear?

Mel wrote back: Something sexy.

So I wrote: Cool. I have a brand new leather banana hammock I've been dying to try out.

At this point, I still wasn't sure if Mel was a man or a woman. I figured that last reply would sort it out pretty quickly.

A few minutes later, I got a reply that said: Well in that case, I'll be in my birthday suit.

Dammit.

So I replied with: What will we do about Germy?

Mel wrote back: If we're lucky, she'll be sleeping/feeling better/not there. Have you been back yet?

So I knew Germy was a female, at least. I replied with: No, not since the whole "Drunk-on-Jack-Daniels-naked-tabledance-thing."

Mel wrote back: I don't even know what you're saying. Just be in the room at 6 ready for chinese and chillin out/maxin' relaxin' all cool.

Right now it's ten after seven, and I'm pretty sure I had the General Tso's chicken.*

I love it when my blog entry for the day falls right into my lap. Or calls me on the phone. Whichever.





*Since I'm a nice guy, I didn't actually leave her hanging. I sent a final message that said "OK, time to come clean before I ruin your night. You text messaged a wrong number and I've been messing with you." She wrote back "Awesome! At least I provided some amusement for your day. Sorry about that!" I told her to enjoy the chinese.