7/5/06

Go ahead. Axe me anything.

I've finally escaped the cackling ogre and moved my cube once again. I am now in a quiet area of the floor, surrounded by nobody. It's fan-freakin*-tastic. The reason I mention it is because whenever you move into a new cube, you always have to deal with the detritus left behind by the last inhabitant. Sometimes it's just dust bunnies, and other times it's everything from unidentified moldy tupperware to 3-year-old toenail collections.

This cube fell somewhere in between, and the strangest thing I found was a hand-made picture frame, presumably made by the goofy looking kid in the picture. I think at one time it had macaroni or some other shit glued on it, but when I dug it out from behind the file cabinet, it was pretty rough. I also found two teddy bears holding hands and they were so incredibly adorable I immediately tossed them in the trash before they could make me puke.

Anyway, the reason I mention finding weird shit -- A few weeks before I moved, my friend Gutu moved too, and the when the worker bees were dismantling the cube next to her, they unearthed this little beauty:



She really had no use for a double-edged executioner's axe, and since I've been on the lookout for one, she gave it to me. I immediately brought it back to my cube and examined my prize more closely. This bit made me laugh out loud:



So yeah. For those of you with kids, let this be a reminder that if you have a choice between, say, a teddy bear and a double-edged executioner's axe, you might want to go with the bear -- especially if your kid has a tendency to choke on axes.

But if you do decide to go with the axe, make sure the kid is supervised at all times. You don't want to glance out in the backyard and see this:




*(as an aside, Blogger's spell checker wanted to replace "freakin" with "foreskin." I almost let it. Fan-foreskin-tastic kinda has a snappy ring to it.)

11 comments:

  1. What does it mean if you son is trying to stick a rigid rod down his neck?

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  2. I think it means that if everything goes as well as it possibly can, you'll be sitting in the family section at the Annual AVN awards show.

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  3. Hey, the kid in the home made picture frame, was he standing next to a Big Red 1? Because I lost a picture like that a few years ago.

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  4. There is nothing disturbing about someone keeping an axe at work.

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  5. this is a first. i've never even thought of the words "snappy" and "foreskin" in the same sentence.

    and choking hazard? axe's can get stuck in the throat, but i don't think that's what they meant.

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  6. Ok...Dr Pepper just shot out of my nose.
    That's got to be the highest compliment in the land.

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  7. Anonymous4:24 PM

    I just received an e-mail at work where someone obviously put too much trust in spellchecker. Instead of saying, "I'm sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused", it instead read, "I'm sorry for any incontinence this may have caused." Good thing I keep that package of Depends in my cube for occasions such as these.

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  8. Crap-tastic. Feel free to use it. :)

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  9. Steph, are you just randomly reading my archives, or is there a systematic method to your madness? And your profile is locked! Do you not have a blog?

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  10. *laughs* Well, I think there's a method. I started at most recent and am working my way back (I'm at about 2/3 of the way through all of them - my job is obviously not busy). Of course being the obedient blogger, when you link, I click on them, so that's where the randomness could come in. Yep, check out stephbobb.blogspot.com

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