More "too much of a good thing"

I just saw this little number on TV:

I don't know what kind of geyser this thing is supposed to put an end to, but I am pretty sure I could drain 5 quarts of dirty motor oil into it during my next oil change and not mess up the garage floor.

When will the marketing madness end? Just look at it. This thing's wings have wings. If the wings were any bigger, it would be a diaper. At least they didn't magically fold it into a little tiny lounge chair like that other commercial. This one was much classier. They had a steel ball bearing ricocheting around inside of it like it was a pinball machine.

And is it just me, or are all these things starting to look like Nike Air insoles?

Yeah. I know. It's just me.


  1. Anonymous5:25 AM

    If you have children may they all be daughters, so that your bathroom can sport packs of fairy-hammocks, and other cottony widgets for stemming geysers.

  2. Anytime there is a femine hygine ad on tv, Kelly turns to me and say, "You know JV is blogging about this right now."

    And I say, "I hope so!"

  3. Anonymous8:52 AM

    be thankful YOU don't have to cope with that sort of thing. Hey, we get to lose insane amounts of blood, get cramps AND walk like a duck for three days, thanks to these.

  4. Pads with wings, while they look assassine, is one of the best inventions of our time. You'll just have to take my word for it. Plus when I take flight once a month, it's hard to argue.

    And as for the diaper thing, it pretty much is a diaper. Let's be honest. Be happy you are male. That's all I'm saying.

  5. Anonymous7:08 PM

    Yeah, I once was in a pinch and had to use my Nike insole because I didn't have a pad on me.

  6. Hey wait -- 3 days??? How the hell do you manage that? My wife is down for the count for at least 5. So that means cranky for a least 10 days out of every month. What's your secret? I'd love to shorten up the festival.

  7. Anonymous8:09 PM

    Disturbing, yet strangely erotic...

  8. Anonymous11:58 AM

    did I say three days? That's because I didn't mention the first (additional) two, when you try to avoid doing much in the way of walking around.

    Sorry to disappoint you, JV. Menstruation: It's not for sissies.

  9. nice pad shot right when i hit the page. i got j2 and roger sitting behind me in class so i'm sure they appreciate it. anyhow, sometimes the wings need wings. also, well, nevermind. i won't go into what i was about to.

  10. Five days sounds GREAT when you consider that just after you have a baby it goes on for five WEEKS. No one tells you THAT at the "Maturation Program" they make you go to in 4th grade.

    You're a real man, JV, to even talk about these things without totally wigging out-- let alone posting PICTURES!

  11. At least you don't have to wear one. And I'm not even going to go into the details of a tampon...and those wings. If you don't fold them just right they rip your pubes out the next time you pull your pants down.

    Oh, was that TMI? Sorry about that.

  12. Ditto to all the above comments from women about the value/shittiness of pads and wings and all that. Oh yeah, and the Pill cuts mine down to just about three days. Only one day of moodiness, no cramps, maybe a headache for a day. Being pregnant and nursing rocked in that regard.

    These commercials just suck.

  13. Anonymous12:33 PM

    I've been looking for a link to a video of this advet since I saw it earlier this weekend. It seems to completely miss the pitch, but still be fascinating.