12/31/05

Monkey Punchers.

So one day the weenjammer and I came up with a term for idiots with computers. We called them "monkeypunchers" because these are the kind of people who are stupid enough to click on the dumb flash ads that are on every webpage you see. You know, the ones where there are buttons for choices, but they don't actually do anything but take you to the same lame web page, no matter which one you click on?

These types of people have computers that are generally so full of spyware, adware and viruses, that even though the computer is a 3.2 gigahertz pentium 4, it has all the speed of my grandfather in the bathroom after thanksgiving dinner. They think a firewall is when you pack bricks between the studs of interior walls before you put the sheetrock up. They think a virus scanner is another name for their family doctor. You get the idea. They are, in a word, clueless.

At any rate, these ads for the stupid piss me off. Currently, I have two daily irritations. The first is this ad:



Are they a match? First, does anyone but them actually give a shit? Second, of course they're not a match. Semi-hot asian chicks in their late twenties do not go out with teenagers on the high school football team. Unless, of course, she's his english teacher or something. Then it's allowed, I think.

The other one currently bugging the piss out of me is this one:



How stupid do these people think you are? To call this an "IQ Question" is an insult to 4-year-olds everywhere. Don't they teach you vowels practically as soon as you can read three-letter words? Are people this stupid actually out there using computers? Because if this tickles your brain, there is something seriously effed up in there.

Anyway, that's all I have today. I hope you all have a safe and happy new year. Drive carefully, and if you drink, don't drive, because I don't want your drunk ass crossing over into my lane. And watch out for Sarah. I hear she's kissing everyone this year.

6 comments:

  1. Okay ... just curious - what does Sarah look like? So I can get outta her way ... :)

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  2. My son's computer is so freakin hosed with crap that I'm afraid it's going to crash at any moment. I installed a firewall, virus protection, and a registry monitor and he turns them off because they annoy him. Then he has the gaul to come and ask me to fix it afterwards... GRRR!

    RCS

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  3. Happy New Year btw! (I got distracted)

    RCS

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  4. Happy New Year man. You shoulda linked directly to the Family Circus monkey puncher cartoon.

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  5. I think I may need to stop using sitemeter. The ads are getting to me, too.

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  6. I envy the world where you live, where 4 YOs know what a vowel is. I have 17 YOs who can't identify a verb or write a complete sentence. It's tragic (and irritating beyond belief).

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