5/1/05

Do you ever feel wet and sticky?

I shit you not, I just heard those exact words used in a Playtex Mini-pad commercial.

I think this is a new low in the feminine hygiene product arena. Based on my last post, I felt compelled to comment on this commercial.

It starts out with two women chatting in the grocery store. One turns to the other and says, "Does your mini-pad ever make you feel wet and sticky?"

The other woman lights up enthusiastically, and replies that yes, in fact, she feels exactly the same way. For a second, based on her response, you think that perhaps you mis-heard the question, and it was actually "Don't you just love cheesecake?" You rewind the Tivo, hoping for the best.

Sadly, no. She really did just ask the other woman if her crotch ever feels wet and sticky.

In the middle of a casual conversation.

In the grocery store.

I can't even imagine how this would unfold if it ever happened in real life, since (a) I'm not a woman and I have no idea how they actually think, and (b) I generally stay out of that aisle if at all possible.

I can, however, give you a good idea of how the conversation would go if it were between men, say, at a baseball game, surrounded by other fans.

"Steve, this is a great game! Thanks for the invite, buddy."

"Hey, anytime, man. I had the extra ticket, so I'm just glad you could make it. Hey, Bob, I've been meaning to ask you -- does your crotch ever feel wet and sticky?"

[long pause]

"Jesus, dude. What the hell is wrong with you? I'm gonna go get a beer."


14 comments:

  1. That is disturbing as hell.

    I dont know about you, but I prefer women who dont have bone dry vaginas....

    ReplyDelete
  2. there is a time and a place where it is very very good to be wet and sticky down there.

    the shopping at the grocery store is NOT that time and place.

    umm...unless you're shooting a porno there. as long as it's after hours. and you throw away the produce afterwards. then I guess it's OK.

    ReplyDelete
  3. "Hey Bob, bring me a hand full of napikins. I feel all wet and sticky."

    "Steve, your fuckin' wierd. I'm leaving and you find another way home, because your not getting in my car."..................."Sick bastard."

    ReplyDelete
  4. JV we need to put an end to this.

    ReplyDelete
  5. To the commercials as a whole, or my posting about them? Ha

    ReplyDelete
  6. JV, how can you watch these commercials? I know you need material, but fer christs sake. I click away from those ads as soon as I see two women talking with the "Today" boxes behind them.
    Just don't want to know anything about it.
    Done.

    ReplyDelete
  7. If a woman approached me in the grocery store, or hell, anywhere else for that matter, and asked me if my pad leaves me feeling wet and sticky, I'd dropkick her in a heartbeat then ask "further questions?"
    Christ.
    Hope you weren't eating dinner while you were subjected to that crap.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm with Weary Hag. I saw that commercial a few weeks ago and my husband and I looked at each other in disgust. Then I said "if anyone ever approached me in that aisle, I would most likely ask them if they were fucked in the head."

    Just sick, dude. Sick. And. Wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Um YEAH...then those same two chicks hold hands, run off, have a pajama party and a slow motion pillow fight. My ass! It just ain't happening.

    ReplyDelete
  10. JV- with the commercials, but then again, what would you blog about?! I guess that commercial served a bigger purpose.

    P.S. Escalator handrails- ew? I had to do a return today at the mall and noticed all kind of dry sticky stuff on them...

    ReplyDelete
  11. AG - just think: it started out WET and sticky.

    ReplyDelete
  12. This is all a result of the Vagina Monologues. Get a bunch of women in a room asking themselves "what does your vagina smell like" and "What would your vagina say if it could say two words?" and this is what you get.

    ReplyDelete
  13. It's funny, I just blogged about something along these lines - it's proof; vaginas and their little issues can be hilarious fodder for blogs - crotches are funny~

    ReplyDelete
  14. Nizumi10:30 AM

    I'm the queen of too much information and that commercial pushes it right over the edge even by my standards.

    I'm willing to bet that back in the days when we pooped in buckets and had to use a communal bath house (if there was one) - nobody talked about this crap because it was pretty much self-evident. Go ahead - go to a Vietnamese village where they still have "night soil" collectors. They don't stand around talking about how Mr. Nugyen's "night soil" hasn't had the same consistency lately or how Mrs. Ng seems to be constipated or her duagher's on the rag.

    Please!

    But in the same vein of crotches, anyone seen that commercial for Old Spice with the chick dancing in leather pants and the narrator saying she "glistens" when she sweats (but you're a man. You don't want to glisten, do ya?) Heads up - you pick up a chick in a bar who looks hot in those leather, pleather, spandex, snakeskin, whatever pants, and I am telling you - make a shower part your foreplay - because while her torso may be "glistening", her crotch ain't!

    ReplyDelete