It's the first installment of Sundays with Sylvia, and todays topic is one that is always on everyone's mind: Your enormous cans.
If you're sick and tired of pinning your own arms down when you sleep on your back, you might be interested to hear what Sylvia has to say this week.
If, however, you make your living by crushing beer cans with your enormous breasts on national television, you might want to skip this post.
It probably goes without saying that if Sylvia thinks massaging the breasts is dangerous, then using them to break boards and crush cans would almost assuredly get you on her shit list.
I'm not exactly sure how drinking a glass of buttermilk every 2 hours for three days straight would do anything except give you diarrhea, but there you go. I have no theories on this subject, so if there are any nutritionists out there who know the boob-reducing ingredient in buttermilk, please let me know.
Apparently, it never fails.
I didn't want the twitchy, nervous, thin people to feel left out this week, so here's a little tip for you regarding your bathing habits:
Listen to Sylvia. Don't kill yourself, skinny people.
Also, there's something new happening over at humor-blogs.com -- you now have to register to vote, and you can vote on individual posts. I know that's a pain in the ass, but Sylvia would want you to at least check it out. Thanks.