10/13/06

So a homeless drug addict, a Palestinian chick and an Israeli soldier walk into a bar...

See this stuff?



It's shower gel.

Looks pretty ordinary, doesn't it?

In reality, however, it's not ordinary in the slightest. Here's the actual product description (and I am not making this up):

The olive branch has been a symbol of peace for millennia; our gel has 3% organic olive oil from two sources: an olive grove formerly owned by the Sicilian Mafia and now run as a co-operative by former homeless drug addicts and a Palestinian-Israeli joint venture run by women on land in occupied territories which was being wasted as a result of the conflict.

I'm sure that my laughing out loud wasn't quite the reaction their marketing department was shooting for, but I couldn't help it. It totally sounds like the set up for a joke.

Also, I want to know how a bunch of homeless crack heads and women in Burquas beat up the Mafia. And not just any Mafia, either. The Sicilian Mafia. It seems impossible to me, unless the Israeli part of the "joint venture" consisted entirely of Special Forces teams acting on Mossad intel.

Here's the link, in case you want to pay too much for something and feel 3% good about yourself. I've added it to my amazon wish list, so when I get it, I'll let you know how it smells.

I hope it doesn't smell like homeless guy, because I've already got that scent covered.

12 comments:

  1. I used to walk past a Lush on my way to Penn Station after work. Their products stunk so badly that the smell oozed out onto the street for a radius of 50 feet around the storefront. You would be walking quite innocently down the sidewalk and suddenly you were convinced you'd been transported into the center of a flock of prostitutes. (I have decided prostitutes travel in flocks).

    I'm tempted to buy that product, because lately I've only felt at most 2% good about myself. I deserve more.

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  2. What the...??? How did the homeless swindle an olive garden from a Sicilian Mafia? They have to be making that shit up.
    Someone ought to tell those folks at Lush...There comes a time when you have to draw the line at inhaling too many Henna products.

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  3. They cant be serious...

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  4. Angie7:48 AM

    LOL @ smelling like a homeless guy. I shudder to imagine what may be in the remaining 97% of Lush!

    I am reminded of the strange squirrel-like ornament you posted a while back.

    JV, where do you find this stuff?

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  5. I'm more of a Sonic Death Monkey kinda girl myself although I'm confused as to whether I'm supposed to smear it all over me or eat it.

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  6. sonic death monkey sounds like either (a) some sort of drug (b) some sort of beer, or (c) some sort of fatal martial arts move.

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  7. That's hilarious. There's a Lush in my neighborhood. I can't walk within 20 feet of the store because the heavily perfumed smell gives me a headache. And I can't read their font that's supposed to look like handwriting.

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  8. Anonymous6:13 PM

    It's legit. And it's shower gel, not moisturizing cream, by the way.

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  9. Ah thanks. Not sure where the moisturizing cream came from...must have read it wrong.

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  10. You can smell a Lush shop long before you actually see it. This product description is hilarious..the guys who write this stuff must be delirious from all the product fumes.

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  11. For what it's worth, they do have something now on the Lush website called "Tramp Shower Gel". For those of you who either:
    1) Are tramps.
    or
    2) Want to smell like tramps.

    How funny! They must have been reading your blog JV!

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