Things I really don't need to know about my co-workers.

Since everyone at work but me seems to have a fast connection at their houses, there are a fair number of people who decide to work from home on any given day. There's an automated notification that goes around every morning, and it has a little (WFH) next to their names. I always mis-read that as WTF but that's my problem.

The upshot of all this "working from home" stuff is that you could be attending a teleconference and suddenly you'll hear a dog bark or a kid scream. Then someone will generally say, "I'm sorry about that. I'm working from home today," or some such. (Side note to that person: We have already figured that you're not in the office. So unless the blood-curdling scream we just heard was you killing a drifter, don't feel you need to inform us.)

That's all fine, as far as it goes. However, today I read this, which states that "One in eight male teleworkers and one in 14 female teleworkers say they do their jobs in the nude, according to a new survey on the habits of remote and mobile workers worldwide."

It's safe to say that I didn't need to know that there's a one in eight chance that the guy I'm conversing with could quite possibly be nutsack to leather as we speak. As for the women, I really don't want to be forced to envision some project manager's enormous, flopping breasts spread out on the desk in front of her keyboard like some sort of fleshy wrist rest.

I would rather not think about these things, but now I can't help it.

Apparently, the study also found that "88% acknowledge storing passwords in unsafe spots."

They're working from home. How unsafe could the spot really be unless they are rolling their password lists into a tight little cylinders and sticking them up their asses? On second thought, that would be pretty safe from a security perspective. I think I will put that one in the suggestion box.

The other thing I found funny was that "18% of men find time to do household tasks while on the clock."

I would have said that maybe 5% of men actually do household tasks on a regular basis anyway, so the only conclusion I can draw from this statistic is that for most men, doing housework naked is more than 3 times as enticing as actually doing what you're being paid to do.

Dammit, I can't wait to get broadband.

There will be some nicely polished leather furniture in the house, I can guarantee you that.


  1. I laughed at loud. Seriously. Now I'm thinking of naked gross people on their computers at home, or vacuuming in the nude whilst on the clock, thanks.

  2. Working in the nude keeps your clothes clean.

  3. It's 4:30 a.m. and I can't stop giggling.

    I work from home and shower every morning before 8:00 and then have ritualistic sanitizing events throughout the day. There is always a barrier between me and what I touch.

  4. Miriam, that's a great strategy - if you're an axe murderer.

  5. I used to call in to meetings while lounging on the couch in my boxer-briefs. It was quite liberating.

    And I think that number is higher than 18% of men do things other than work when working for home. I know one guy who doesn't do work while at WORK, so you think he's plugging away on code at home? Pffffft. He uses it as a day off. And you know who I'm talking about.

  6. No, it's a great strategy if you're the one who does the laundry.

  7. And if you're an axe murderer who does laundry, you can't lose.

  8. I'm commenting in the nude right now.

    Be afraid; be very afraid.

  9. I'd believe 18% if waxing the bishop counts as a household task.