2/27/12

Free Candy.

I have a bad habit of turning the passenger-side of my car into a dumpster. It drives my wife nuts. But since I rarely if ever have passengers, it just sort of happens over time, especially in the winter when I don't have a chance to clean my car. For instance, I've had the Miata's license plates sitting on the floor since I took the car off the road in October. I never actually made it to the DMV to turn them in because I'm a lazy piece.

Sunday morning I stopped over to Paul's house to help his wife figure out what to do with some of his camping gear, and ended up taking a few things. They also ended on the floor in my car. I had some tools in the back that I wanted to remember to take into the house, so I put those there too. Of course, that didn't happen, and so everything sat there.

The next day was monday and as a result I sucked it up and went to work, since that's the kind of guy I am. I figure it's bad form to call in sick on a monday. Unless you're actually sick, I mean. Since I get there very early, I parked where I usually park, which is right in front of the building because, well, lazy piece.

As I grabbed my coffee and my laptop, I happened to look over at the floor of the passenger side and saw this:



Jesus. I think the only thing missing was a bottle of chloroform and a rag.

After work I drove home very carefully, going the exact speed limit the entire way.

Then I cleaned my car.


19 comments:

  1. Ashton Kutcher couldn't have planned that set up any better.

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  2. Flo-dee-doe7:56 PM

    Oh. My. God. I think I pulled a muscle laughing...

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  3. flo-dee-doe7:57 PM

    Oh. My God. I think I pulled a muscle laughing...

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  4. So, can you tell us where Jimmy Hoffa is?

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  5. Looks like my truck! Usually the gun is real.

    Peace <3
    Jay

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  6. Move to Texas - no one would think twice. :)

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  7. Ha! My front seat looks like that, too. Well...not like that, exactly. It's mostly Bed Bath & Beyond coupons, cereal bar wrappers and empty gum packages. :-)

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  8. bwhahaha@ KC -totally right.

    as soon as i saw the pic i laughed so hard i woke the baby up! didn't even need the inventory list.

    and i have the garbage passenger side too. lazy pieces unite! oh.. wait, never mind.

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  9. add bleach and some black plastic trash bags, and i think you've got the complete kit...

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  10. You're a better person than I am! If I had noticed that on a Monday morning I would've offered to take my boss out for lunch. Then while driving down the road lock the doors and say something like "so I wanted to talk to you about a raise...."

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  11. You're a better person than I am! If I had noticed that on a Monday morning I would've offered to take my boss out for lunch. Then while driving down the road lock the doors and say something like "so I wanted to talk to you about a raise...."

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  12. Sounds like a recipe on how to get on Dateline NBC.

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  13. love it! thanks for the laugh!

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  14. Just spit hot chocolate onto my keyboard from laughing. Thanks for the morning pick-me-up!

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  15. Yes...and the bag of lime. I had a simliar experience recently...I found myself in line at the grocery store on Valentine's day making the unfortunate purchase combination of wine, ice cream and a box of tissues. I figured the cashier probably wondered if I was going to burst into tears right there...

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  16. @Brute - that is HILARIOUS. Almost as funny as JV's post, which still has me chuckling. I do wonder sometimes what anyone looking in my van thinks, what with the usual combo of things that exist in it. ("What, does she haul hay in this thing?" Answer: yes) I must say I haven't got any guns (fake or real), knives or rope, though!

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  17. The only thing that would make this better is if the car you drive is a white windowless van.

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  18. That is so hilarious. Tickled my funny bone. Good stuff.

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  19. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.Thanks for the Sundy morning laugh. Too funny.

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