9/29/07

My pits can beat you at chess.

I noticed something that struck me funny while I was getting ready for work the other day. The top of my deodorant says this:



First of all, I'm not exactly sure how my no-stink stick can be smart. From what I can tell, it really has very little in the way of intelligence. It can't even automatically roll itself up a little bit when I am scraping armpit skin off on its hard plastic sides. Also, how do you trademark the word "smart?"

The bigger problem, of course, is that if some scientists set off to develop "smart technology" I would think one of the last groups of people they would go to would be athletes. Granted, they're probably better off going to athletes instead of...oh, I don't know....rappers or David Lee Roth, maybe. But still -- As a whole, athletes are not generally known for their scientific prowess.

How would that development actually happen? I can picture it now.

Scientist: I've developed what I think may be the ultimate Smart{tm} deodorant! However, I am not sure if it really works, so I need your odoriferous expertise. Rub this under your armpits.

(Pro football player rubs like there's no tomorrow.)

Scientist (pointing): No, no. Those aren't your armpits. There you go. And now, we wait. Um, maybe you better take a few laps.

PFBP, upon completing laps: Does I stink?

Scientist: SUCCESS!

PFBP (holding scientist by neck): Where's my money at?

I compared it to my other, non-smart deodorant, and there really doesn't seem to be much difference.

I think that one might be more crafty than smart.

OK, I'm off to a lake somewhere. Be back in a bit.

10 comments:

  1. I love men who wear deoderant and smell good.
    My husband doesn't.... wear deoderant or smell good. He's lucky that I married him before I figured that fact out.

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  2. Do you run searches on who's linking to your blog?...You found mine pretty darn quick, I put that link up only a day or so ago.

    My hubby and I certainly enjoy your commentary on life!

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  3. If it's anti-perspirant, the "smart" claim is somewhat valid. Sweat-blocking chemicals and whatnot. Deodorant would be less deserving of that title, though mine (Brut Original scent) says it's "formulated with TRIMAX(TM) to give you the 24 HOUR odor protection that you need." I generally wouldn't call either of these cases "technology"; Answers.com defined this as "the application of science, esp. to industrial or commercial objectives. "Smart" gives nothing fitting well: "canny and shrewd in dealings with others" (hehe) or "of, relating to, or being a highly automated device, esp. on that imitates human intelligence". However, "device" says "a technique or means", e.g., of blocking sweat and smelling nice.

    Who knows. I personally think they would be better off telling us, instead of the product being "Smart Techonology", that it will make you "Smell better. Sweat less."

    ///First time commenting, btw. Love your stuff.

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  4. no, no, no...it's 'developed with athletes' meaning that ground up bits of professional sports people are in the formula...gives a whole new meaning to 'smell like a man'.

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  5. Don't you hate it when your arm pits bleed after you've put on your deoderant? Almost defeats the purpose when you end up with pit stains. Yeah, those hard plastic thing-ama-bobbers are painful!
    Sweat, blood and the metalic contents make for itchy, bloody pits. BLAH! Not that I would know from experiance, I'm just sayin!

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  6. Deodorant is getting into technology? What does the mean??

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  7. Yo! Yo! Yo! you be disin' Leon, Deion, and Jamal Buttwheat Lincoln

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  8. I think the smart technology part is the label that says "Apply with this side up"

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  9. They finally won the lawsuit over the patent for the Mechanism For Poorly Extruding Stick Deodorant In Order To Intentionally Scrape The Underarms With Subtlety.

    See, most deodorant manufacturers put very mildly addictive substances in their formulas. This is similar to chewing tobacco; it contains fiberglass to irritate your oral cavity so the nicotine can enter your bloodstream and cause addiction.

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  10. Athletes may not be reknown for their intelligence but they ARE well known for sweating profusely.

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