3/4/07

I haven't pissed in 24 hours.

I am an avid "24" fan. If any of you reading this are also fans, then you know that we are all forced to forgive inconsistencies in the timing of pretty much everything related to the actual 24 hour day. Like how it takes people less than ten minutes to practically cross the entire state of Califonia by car. That's fine. You have to take some shortcuts to keep the story moving. The one thing I can't help but notice, however, is how nobody ever eats or goes to the bathroom. For an entire 24 hours. I don't know if it's just because I drink a lot of coffee or I have a bladder the size of a peanut, but I have to take a piss about every 2 hours. So just once, for the sake of realism, I'd like see Jack pick up his cell phone, call CTU and say, "This is Jack Bauer. Put Bill Buchanan on the phone. What? Well, number one or two? One? OK, I'll wait."

I know some of you will point out that Morris was in the can during the last episode, but I am convinced he was only drinking whiskey and not dropping a duece, so that doesn't count.

So now I can't seem to stop wondering exactly when it all happens. The suspense of the show has shifted for me. There could be a ticking nuclear bomb ready to explode any second, yet when they cut from scene to scene, all I'm doing is trying to figure out who's going to the bathroom where. I will actually turn to my wife and say, "I am 87% sure Karen Hayes just took a dump right before this. It's the only time she had free in the last three hours." or I will just casually mention, "You realize that Wayne Palmer is pissing like a racehorse as we speak, right?"

These comments are not going over well, probably due to the unwanted mental images they conjure up, yet I can't seem to stop.

Now you won't be able to either. You're welcome.

7 comments:

  1. I was grossly disappointed when "24" first (blonde) aired. I fully expected to be (blonde) entertained for the full 24 hours - not one measely hour. WTF is (blonde) that?
    I don't watch the show JV - but I'm with you - I've seen many a pissless and shitless movie as well and you know what? It just doesn't make much sense.

    ReplyDelete
  2. On and semi-related note: how come no one pees on 24, but I pee my pants approximately every 15 seconds during one episode?

    ReplyDelete
  3. So far the only person I can think of that actually uses the bathroom during their show is Al Bundy.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Archie Bunker.

    So, it's apparently been about 3 dayas now... How are you feeling??

    ReplyDelete
  5. That's weird, I have been pissed for the last 24 hours.

    ReplyDelete
  6. i may have to take it all back. I am pretty sure the russian guy pissed himself when jack cut off his pinky with the cigar clipper.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I had to quit watching 24 at the beginning of this season when Jack was tied up but managed to give his captor a huge, bloody hickey. Gross!!! Yuck!

    ReplyDelete