3/3/07

Soilent Green is people

I got a cereal sample in the mail the other day. I don't usually make it a habit to eat stuff that shows up in my mailbox, but in this case I was intrigued. They are called Mighty Bites, and they are apparently made for kids. Here is a picture of the box I found on their website:



The interesting thing is, nowhere on the box does the manufacturer give any indication as to why the individual pieces of cereal are made to look like tiny people. They just don't mention it at all. I am not sure if you are supposed to feel like a giant man-eating monster when you are eating them or what -- but I found it hilarious. Here's a close up:



It's not bad enough that they look like little people when they are lined up on your countertop. It gets worse when you pour in the milk:



Then it looks like the horrible aftermath of a torpedoed cruise ship and a subsequent shark attack.

Not only did they taste like crap, the bodies got soggy and started to decompose pretty quickly.

Long story short, these things bite.

Mightily.

12 comments:

  1. These are apparently by the same folks who brought us Kashi GoLean Crunch, which tastes like dirt. Dirt with dead bugs in it. And possibly fecal matter of some kind.

    Don't ask me how I know.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Do we get to ask why the url is I-havent-pissed-in-24-hours? Seems like there's a story there.

    Anyways, these sort of remind of Orbitz, that drink they had in the 90s with the little balls suspended in it. They tasted like mushy garbage.

    I'll stick to my beloved Shreddies thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yeah, what happened to the post about 24? :P

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hmmmm... Gumby meets Alpha Bits?
    Speaking of Alpha Bits, did anyone ever think of why they personified those little letters in the ads, with eyes and faces and things? Were you actually supposed to feel good about munching live cartoon characters? And don't even get me started on Lucky Charms training little kids to eat balloons... I'm surprised they haven't had enough lawsuits to shut them down completely.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Do you by any chance have a cat? My grandson used to eat Mighty Bites, and I noticed they looked just like dry cat food.

    Only I don't think any of my cats would have eaten them. They had higher standards.

    ReplyDelete
  6. stephanie11:02 PM

    I eat men for breakfast.

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    God, so anyway, love the Charlton Heston reference.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yikes. I just re-watched "Soilent Green" about three weeks ago and it was no less pleasant than it was when I first saw it back in the dark ages.
    Animal crackers were one thing, though it always bothered me that the elephants seemed to be anatomically correct. I always sensed that I was growing up WAY before my time when I was snacking on those things.

    ReplyDelete
  8. No one has asked why you are getting cereal in the mail. I'm curious

    ReplyDelete
  9. I don't know! I am some sort of target market for shit cereal I guess.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I can not stress this enough: DO NOT EAT THIS STUFF! These are real people..well if you consider midget people. They are not real people but replicas of the midget people but in cereal form. I really can't get into the details but heed the warning.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Why are they all the same race? I think there's a lawsuit waiting.

    ReplyDelete
  12. LOL! Thanks as usual for hysterical giggles.

    ReplyDelete