It's good to be a squirrel.

So I'm eating dinner and thumbing through one of the ridiculous mail order catalogs that show up at our house by the bucketload every single day - even though I've never ordered a single thing from them - and I can't believe the stuff they are trying to sell me.

The chinese people working the assembly lines where they make this crap must think we're all effed in the head.

One thing in particular catches my eye right away. It's this:

First off, let's talk about the big "Exclusive!" in the center, as if any other catalog might actually be tempted to sell this abortion. I am thinking it's exclusive only because this is the only mail-order catalog the manufacturer of the apple-torso-squirrel could convince to take it. Trust me - somewhere, there is a warehouse stacked to the ceiling with these things.

The second thing that I found hilarious is that they are apparently encouraging squirrels to eat a hearty meal out of the abdomen of one of their own. Now, in the squirrel world, this may be entirely permissible, but I have to be honest -- it sorta creeps me out. Not to mention the fact that if a real squirrel overcame his apprehension long enough to partake, the owner of this feeder would look out his living room window one morning and see this:


  1. hahahaha i want one :P

  2. Jeebus Johnny,
    I wish I read this before I bought a gross.
    It's going to be a kinky Christmas.

  3. Anonymous4:02 PM

    Actually at first I thought it could be cute but then I had the "eating" position pop into my head. I know how squirrels like to feed and I think you better redo your picture more on the 69 side, if you know what I mean.

  4. You know, that'd be cool if you put spaghetti with marinera in it. Or am I just sick?

  5. yeah, you're just sick.

    But that's cool.

  6. squirrel porn - i see you're branching out.

  7. Yeah. Hot squirrel on squirrel action is where I draw the line though.

  8. I like how you made the eating one clearly a female, though you didnt have to.

  9. Not that there's anything wrong with that.