3/5/05

Wombat Rocks!

Since I help manage the e-mail system where I work, a big part of what I do revolves around stopping spam. The ones that get through are really annoying, and you learn to hate the slimy bastards who send this stuff. To prevent us from just uncorking the AR-15's and heading out to where these bastards live, (yeah, if it were only that easy...) we play a little game we call "spam-band names" to make things a little more fun.

Every time we get a spam message that has a bunch of random words at the bottom, we quickly scan the list for possible band names. The only rule is that the words have to be next to each other. Usually, we also hazard a guess as to the kind of music they would play. Here's the best of our list since we started doing this..

elastic oyster (psychedelic rock)
whiplash faze (hair metal)
corset catnip (all-girl goth band)
dustbin atheist (english punk)
cocky genie (punkish pop, ala Good Charlotte, All American Rejects, etc.)
aristotle east (jazz fusion)
deacon luck (country cross-over guy)
octillion lash (transvestites playing Queen covers)
matchbox soldier (overplayed Top 40. If it has 'Matchbox' in it, it has to be overplayed)
claw skull (death metal)
distortion dynamite (funk)
cardiac casino (swing band that plays '30s and '40s standards)
lipstick handout (all-girl rock band fronted by Courtney Love)
precambrian yardstick (jazz)
potato wad (American punk)
witchcraft wombat (opening for cannibal corpse or slipknot)
bagpipe bali (Indian bagpipes - what else?)
vicious baptist (speed metal)
medusa maxima (girl fronted techno)
monarch madmen (English '80s band)
malicious grammar (Nickelback clone)
chester cowlick (the next Garth Brooks)
sticky mushroom (Grateful Dead cover band)

If you're starting a band and use one of these, I want royalties. (Yeah, Bagpipe Bali, I'm talking to you.)

3 comments:

  1. I've got dibs on either potato wad or sticky mushroom. Can't decide.

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  2. I've been playing this game ever since you shared it with me and it has made spam killing almost tolerable. Mucho gracias.

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  3. I"m pretty sure I saw Elastic Oyster open for Phil and Friends one summer, but with all the narcotics, can't be positive. Do they have an electric uekelelelelele?

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