3/15/05

Precious Moments like These

I'd just like to take this opportunity to welcome the newest small business to grace our little town:



I eavesdropped outside for a bit. Here are some of the things I overheard:

"Don't play with those bottles! Those are glass. Here -- play with these empty Coors Light cans instead."

"No, you can't watch 'Hickory Dickory Cock.' That tape is for grownups."

"Henry! Grab the dog, will you? He's humping the shit out of Skeeter's little boy again."

"Isn't there supposed to be six of these little crap machines? We better check outside."

"Did you hear something by the window? Hey! YOU!"

"He's got a fucking camera! Don't let him get away!"

That's all I had time for, but I would just like to say:

Welcome, Precious Moments Day Care. Our neighborhood will be all the richer for you being in it.

9 comments:

  1. "Put that chisel down, Tommy! Play with the electric sander instead!"

    Shit, I wouldn't send my kids there. Well, I wouldn't if I had kids. They're horrid little bastards anyway.

    ---X

    October Fourth

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  2. Hey there murster, I don't take kindly to you postin' up on my front yard takin them thar peekchers with that fancy cam-ah-rah. TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT!

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  3. At least they're health-conscious, drinking Coors *Light*, ya know?

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  4. I thought Saratoga was where the 'flatlanders' moved when they got sick of the city. The real white trash is in Warrensburg, where my family lives. *Grin*

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  5. The town I live in has much more in common with Warrensburg than Saratoga. I just put on airs...actually, I fixed my profile location to be more accurate. ha.

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  6. The fence sign is a nice touch. Cheap, yet projects a feeling of security.
    You should go there pretending to be an interested parent, to get a look at the horrors inside. I bet you find a 46 inch tv playing Sponge Bob (a.k.a. the "Activity Center"), and a "time-out area" which is a small dark closet. With spiders.

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  7. I would feel pretty confident leaving my children at one of the cabins from Friday the 13th. I'm just saying there are a lot of windows on that house.

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  8. We have a few daycares like these in Nebraska...where the people running it take the kids they are watching to the local drug store and shoplift...it's great! When I have a baby, I am so enrolling it.

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  9. That was hilarious!

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