6/10/09

Good times.

I still have to post my followup, but I don't have time tonight. Instead, I'll share this small part of my day.

I was waiting in the grill line at the cafeteria today when I got a text message from my buddy Yort.

"Lunchin?" it said.

I had seen him sitting in a conference room on my way down to the chow line so I figured he was working through lunch.

"Waiting in line right now." I replied.

A few seconds later, I got another message. "Dammit!" it said.

So I bailed on the line and walked back to the conference room. He was gone. I walked back to his desk. Not there. I walked back toward the cafeteria just in case I had missed him somehow.

I sent him another message. "Where r u?"

While I was waiting, I decided to hit the bathroom down the hall. Just before I walked in the door, another message came in. It just said, "Baffroom."

I realized the implications of my friend texting me from a stall, but I walked in to take a leak anyway. I immediately saw his sneakers under the handicapper stall door. More room for texting, I guess.

I did my business, and as I was washing up, I yelled over to him. "Hey! Pinch it off and get out of there. I don't have all day!"

He flushed, opened the stall door, and walked out.

It was some dude I had never seen before.

Fucking New Balance.

33 comments:

  1. Anonymous9:47 PM

    You never fail to give me a great laugh!

    Sarah

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  2. Can you imagine the speed at which that poor man's colon clamped shut?

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  3. thank you for letting me see inside your world...i swear it is an alternate universe...LOL

    hilarious!

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  4. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Thanks for that!!!

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  5. Anonymous11:42 PM

    oh, ow, im laughing so hard it actually hurts...

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  6. LOLOLOLOL!!! I would have LOVED to see your face when he opened the stall door. Awesome.

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  7. AHAHAHA...my sides hurt on that one.

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  8. that was FUNNY! thanks for the first giggle of the day!

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  9. hahahahah- great way to start my morning :)

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  10. They are comfortable as hell, though.

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  11. O.o Oh my goodnesss. That's great. I'm not sure if I feel more bad for you or the guy doin' his business.

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  12. Be thankful you didn't decide to soak your "friend" with a cup of water, or take the stall door off its hinges, or barracade him in the bathroom by blocking the door and pretend to hold him hostage.

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  13. But not your boss? CEO of the company? I'm disappointed...things like that are supposed to happen to you.

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  14. Anonymous11:43 AM

    Literally LOL - People at work are staring at me!

    Thank you for always making me laugh!

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  15. Anonymous12:21 PM

    So that was you?! Thanks alot you prick! You literally scared the shit out of me!

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  16. Valgal12:44 PM

    My best friend came to my mom's work with me once when we were kids (my mom was working for INS in DC and was kinda high up). We were in the bathroom and my friend got the brilliant idea of kicking in a stall door of one she thought was empty... too bad it was my mom's BOSS sitting on the toilet!

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  17. THAT WAS AWESOME!!

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  18. Oh god, you made me giggle aloud in the cube farm!!

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  19. Laughed out loud on this one...

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  20. Anonymous3:49 PM

    This seems like a great place to meet chicks.

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  21. It might have ended worse if you'd tried saying your "I am NOT gay" line again.

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  22. So, where WAS your friend then?

    T.

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  23. Wow, I thought I was good at jamming my feet in my mouth.
    I bow to you. Nicely done.

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  24. AAAAAAAAAAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Ew.

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  25. Laura1:37 PM

    That was fantastic! LOL!

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  26. Anonymous3:26 PM

    I unintentionally GAFFAWED at that one. I usually just laugh, but I couldn't help myself on that one.

    Kara

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  27. Dude, you make my fraking sides hurt. Great stuff!

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  28. Hilarious! Did he wash his hands? Or did he just run out of the bathroom? Sounds like you scared the crap out of him. Pun intended.

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  29. So what happened after he came out? Did you play it off like you were really angry and inform him you can't just sit on the can all damn day long, because other people need to take craps too? Or did you just go with "my bad, nice shoes"?

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  30. I went with "pretending to wash my hands and hope he blamed the guy who just came in."

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