I still have to post my followup, but I don't have time tonight. Instead, I'll share this small part of my day.
I was waiting in the grill line at the cafeteria today when I got a text message from my buddy Yort.
"Lunchin?" it said.
I had seen him sitting in a conference room on my way down to the chow line so I figured he was working through lunch.
"Waiting in line right now." I replied.
A few seconds later, I got another message. "Dammit!" it said.
So I bailed on the line and walked back to the conference room. He was gone. I walked back to his desk. Not there. I walked back toward the cafeteria just in case I had missed him somehow.
I sent him another message. "Where r u?"
While I was waiting, I decided to hit the bathroom down the hall. Just before I walked in the door, another message came in. It just said, "Baffroom."
I realized the implications of my friend texting me from a stall, but I walked in to take a leak anyway. I immediately saw his sneakers under the handicapper stall door. More room for texting, I guess.
I did my business, and as I was washing up, I yelled over to him. "Hey! Pinch it off and get out of there. I don't have all day!"
He flushed, opened the stall door, and walked out.
It was some dude I had never seen before.
Fucking New Balance.