So this weekend I managed to eff up my left hand by trying to take the thumb off it.
Here's what happened: I was walking down the back deck stairs (which are pretty steep and long because the deck comes off the second story of the house) and I tripped on some miscellaneous crap, lost my balance and almost took a header to the bottom. Luckily, I was able to grab the railing with my left hand. When I did that, however, my hand slid down the railing. It slid down the railing until my thumb bent backward, thereby spraining the living shit out of it.
Why did my thumb bend backward you ask? Well, because it stopped moving when the rest of me didn't. Why did it stop moving you ask? Well, it stopped moving because a one-inch-long sliver of wood jammed directly into it. As a result, one of these things doesn't go with the other:
Note that I am not intentionally bending it backward -- it just wants to go that way because the front is so swollen. I am pretty sure I could build a summer home from the wood still embedded in there. I went to the doctor and the thumb isn't broken, however they gave me a tetanus shot and put me on antibiotics. He told me that if the railroad tie doesn't work itself out in a week, he'll send me to a surgeon.
There are some benefits, however. I drew up a list of things that I am currently awesome at:
1. Acting out the lyrics to old Rolling Stones songs
3. Giving hot babes the thumbs up
4. Hand modeling for R. Crumb
5. Doing a kick-ass Fonzie impersonation
6. Casting the final vote in a Roman execution
7. Pulling plums out of pies
I made a corresponding list of things I am currently not awesome at:
1. Thumbwresting (although I look formidable, it doesn't bend at all and it hurts like hell if you touch it.)
2. Anything that requires me to have a level of dexterity equal to or greater than that of a chimpanzee.
So you can see that the tradeoff is totally worth it.