11/20/05

One toe over the line, sweet jesus.

It seems that every web page I go to, I see this disgusting ad:



It's actually an animated flash advertisement, and the second thing you see is this:



It's not bad enough that the leprosy-ridden toe has a nail that looks like a burnt potato chip -- then they flip the festering thing open like the lid of some barnacle-encrusted treasure chest, just to better illustrate where the fungus lives. The only thing that's missing is the stink lines.

Frankly, I'm surprised they don't have a little animated fungi party going on under there, just to show you how much fun they're all having at your expense. Trust me, there is no way I wanted to "Learn More." I already knew more than I cared to.

Maybe I should have clicked it, because truth be told, I don't really know much about rotten toe. I do, however, know this: If I took my shoe off one day, and any of my toes looked like they might fall off inside my sock, you can bet your ass I would be at the doctor's office within the hour. I would not be surfing the internet looking for a magic lotion potion to rub on my foot. Hell, if my toe looked like that, I wouldn't even want to touch my own foot, let alone rub on it for any length of time.

I think that's my main problem with this ad. Not only is it disgusting, it's unrealistic.

There is no way that some poor bastard would be out there just cruising the web and then stumble on this ad and think to himself, "Hey, that looks just like MY rotten toe! I think I will click that little button that says "Learn More" because even though I didn't give a shit about my rotten toe five minutes ago, suddenly I feel that it would be good to perhaps learn a little bit more about exactly what might be causing it to rot off my foot."

Just add this one to the pile of advertisements we could all live without. At least it was animated, and not a real toe, because it would be really, really wrong to actually show that to people.

6 comments:

  1. JV I wrote about this one in Sept! You are my anti-fungal-ad soul mate.

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  2. "Hey, that looks just like MY rotten toe! I think I will click that little button that says "Learn More" because even though I didn't give a shit about my rotten toe five minutes ago, suddenly I feel that it would be good to perhaps learn a little bit more about exactly what might be causing it to rot off my foot." -- That's exactly what I was thinking the other day when I found that ad. It saved my life.

    Please do not discriminate against those of us who depend on the internet and its ads for our health and livelihood, thanks. (LOL, the random word I have to type in to post this is iTops -- I SMELL APPLESAUCE COMING FROM BLOGGER'S DIRECTION)

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  3. Ew. Ew. Ew. What's next, a few STD shots?

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  4. You know, the photo of the real foot may have given me chronic dry-eye and I might not even know it! I'll add this to the list of prescription drugs the internet/television/society is telling me I need. Great post.

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  5. Wow. I never believed the expression "I just threw up in my mouth" before today.

    It's some sort of bizzare psychological experiment. You put that link in there, and we ALL click on it.

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  6. Mmmmm nothin like the sight of toe-rot first thing in the morning. Christ.

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