I have a bad habit of turning the passenger-side of my car into a dumpster. It drives my wife nuts. But since I rarely if ever have passengers, it just sort of happens over time, especially in the winter when I don't have a chance to clean my car. For instance, I've had the Miata's license plates sitting on the floor since I took the car off the road in October. I never actually made it to the DMV to turn them in because I'm a lazy piece.
Sunday morning I stopped over to Paul's house to help his wife figure out what to do with some of his camping gear, and ended up taking a few things. They also ended on the floor in my car. I had some tools in the back that I wanted to remember to take into the house, so I put those there too. Of course, that didn't happen, and so everything sat there.
The next day was monday and as a result I sucked it up and went to work, since that's the kind of guy I am. I figure it's bad form to call in sick on a monday. Unless you're actually sick, I mean. Since I get there very early, I parked where I usually park, which is right in front of the building because, well, lazy piece.
As I grabbed my coffee and my laptop, I happened to look over at the floor of the passenger side and saw this:
Jesus. I think the only thing missing was a bottle of chloroform and a rag.
After work I drove home very carefully, going the exact speed limit the entire way.
Then I cleaned my car.
Ashton Kutcher couldn't have planned that set up any better.
ReplyDeleteOh. My. God. I think I pulled a muscle laughing...
ReplyDeleteOh. My God. I think I pulled a muscle laughing...
ReplyDeleteSo, can you tell us where Jimmy Hoffa is?
ReplyDeleteLooks like my truck! Usually the gun is real.
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
Move to Texas - no one would think twice. :)
ReplyDeleteHa! My front seat looks like that, too. Well...not like that, exactly. It's mostly Bed Bath & Beyond coupons, cereal bar wrappers and empty gum packages. :-)
ReplyDeletebwhahaha@ KC -totally right.
ReplyDeleteas soon as i saw the pic i laughed so hard i woke the baby up! didn't even need the inventory list.
and i have the garbage passenger side too. lazy pieces unite! oh.. wait, never mind.
add bleach and some black plastic trash bags, and i think you've got the complete kit...
ReplyDeleteYou're a better person than I am! If I had noticed that on a Monday morning I would've offered to take my boss out for lunch. Then while driving down the road lock the doors and say something like "so I wanted to talk to you about a raise...."
ReplyDeleteYou're a better person than I am! If I had noticed that on a Monday morning I would've offered to take my boss out for lunch. Then while driving down the road lock the doors and say something like "so I wanted to talk to you about a raise...."
ReplyDeleteSounds like a recipe on how to get on Dateline NBC.
ReplyDeletelove it! thanks for the laugh!
ReplyDeleteJust spit hot chocolate onto my keyboard from laughing. Thanks for the morning pick-me-up!
ReplyDeleteYes...and the bag of lime. I had a simliar experience recently...I found myself in line at the grocery store on Valentine's day making the unfortunate purchase combination of wine, ice cream and a box of tissues. I figured the cashier probably wondered if I was going to burst into tears right there...
ReplyDelete@Brute - that is HILARIOUS. Almost as funny as JV's post, which still has me chuckling. I do wonder sometimes what anyone looking in my van thinks, what with the usual combo of things that exist in it. ("What, does she haul hay in this thing?" Answer: yes) I must say I haven't got any guns (fake or real), knives or rope, though!
ReplyDeleteThe only thing that would make this better is if the car you drive is a white windowless van.
ReplyDeleteThat is so hilarious. Tickled my funny bone. Good stuff.
ReplyDeleteBWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.Thanks for the Sundy morning laugh. Too funny.
ReplyDelete