2/1/11

Don't Fear the Scraper.

Yesterday, I got this e-mail at work from the company that handles our travel. I think either they're sensationalizing things just a little, or... we're all dead.

Brace For Travel Delays As Multi-Day Dangerous, Destructive Winter Storm To Hit Monday - Wednesday

A multi-day, multi-region potentially historic and destructive winter storm will unleash its fury beginning Monday and will last through Wednesday. When everything is said and done, the storm may very well impact a third of the population of the United States; approximately 100 million people. Its reach will be felt from the Front Range of the Colorado Rockies to the Ohio Valley to the coast of New England.

Accompanied with the winter storm will be a severe thunderstorm threat across the South capable of producing damaging winds, hail and a few tornadoes.

Incredible ice accumulation with some towns/cities experiencing as much as an inch of ice. This is a destructive and crippling amount of ice which could knock out power to potentially hundreds of thousands of customers for days or even weeks.

I especially like "Unleash its fury." It's better if you read it in the voice of that guy who does all the movie preview voice-overs.

23 comments:

  1. ArizonaDi7:01 PM

    OMG. And we're crying here because we're only going to have a high of tomorrow of 49 degrees! Take care out there and stay warm!!

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  2. kristina7:01 PM

    Everything gets sensationalized nowadays...

    Cat crosses road and makes it to the other side despite narrowly missing being hit by a car - news at 11!!!

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  3. They lifted an AP article -- word for word! So... How is it there?

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  4. Breaking News: Local broadcast team runs out of adjectives to describe winter weather. Resorting to going through old books of "Mad Libs" for inspiration.

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  5. Thank GOd we're missing the whole damn thing for a change! Yay us!
    Peace <3
    Jay

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  6. I'm in the thick of it right now, and so far....I'm not impressed.

    Or as the ladies say, "I've seen bigger."

    err....but not to me

    They say that to a friend.

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  7. We got 2 days off out of it, so I'm not complaining too loudly, but still...you'd think there was nothing else happening in the world besides cold weather and the Superbowl. I hope you survive this apocalyptic storm. And get where you're going.

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  8. Crimus, people who can't handle winter should stop their caterwauling and move already to God's Waiting Room in Delray Beach or some other similar humid shithole.

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  9. That homeless guy who's now doing the voiceovers? This is why he relapsed.

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  10. There's a lot of superlatives and adjectives being used at the moment with a huge Cyclone Yasi (Hurricane Yasi if you prefer) bearing down on North Queensland. They're calling it the most dangerous in generations etc etc. In this case it's looking like they're right. It certainly a huge storm in the category 5 range.
    On the other hand we had a Cyclone Bianca that came down unusually low on the coast here in Perth West Australia that petered out entirely, so you never know what these storms might do.

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  11. Just the kind of cheer you want to hear in the office! I seriously hope it is as over the top as it sounds.

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  12. I'm in the middle of the monster storm right now. As long as you stay inside you're fine. The media is taking advantage of our cabin fever by its sensationalism.

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  13. Crikey. I worked the 4 to midnight at 911 last night and we had, wait for it.....ZERO accidents.
    I had to laugh, though, our county 'disaster guy' was in the center in the afternoon to print out the storm warning because he was going to be interviewed on the news. I told him to say that people shouldn't travel unless its absolutely necessary so that all the timid ones who back up traffic will stay home. And he said it.

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  14. Anonymous3:19 PM

    Movie trailer voice guy was Don LaFontaine (RIP).

    Look up Pablo Francisco on YT: he did a hilarious routine on movie trailers & Don L - also there is a tv appearance with him plus another comic, and Don L himself, parodying the movie trailer thing together. Priceless.

    Also Don L featured in some funny self-parodies - a GEICO ad, plus the trailer for Jerry Seinfeld's movie "Comedian" - one of Don's last works before he passed I think.

    One man.. One dream.. Now, More. Than. Ever!

    Enjoy!

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  15. We got about a foot. That's it. Certainly not death from above.

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  16. Anonymous3:28 PM

    oops - a correction: The Seinfeld movie "Comedian" trailer was not done by Don LaFontaine - but another guy named Hal Douglas (who sort of looked to me like a bearded, frail version of Don L).

    Thank you Internet -

    OK I think I've beaten that subject to oblivion now -

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  17. Here in St. Louis, where the hype was totally out of hand, we did get hit hard - but not as badly as anticipated. Not that much ice, and about 10" of snow. Still no fun and I did have to stay home from work for the first time ever yesterday (I don't go in until noon). But some places - holy sh*t! One of my other bloggers has photos of snow up to mid-thigh!

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  18. Maybe it's because I kinda live on a small mountain, but we end up with snow up to my waist almost every year.

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  19. I hope you snow plow (blower?) is still working!

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  20. In Ohio we survived the great Mild Inconvenience of 2011.

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  21. wow... if i had read this before the storm i would have bought $400 in canned goods and lanterns and hid in my basement

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  22. as it turned out they were right

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  23. PLEASE tell me you made this up! The sheer number of adjectives used in that statement is awesome.

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