11/25/10

Please help me.

My wife is out of control. You guys see this?



That's just the most recent purchases. My entire house is being overrun by yarn and wool. I half-expect to come home from work one day and find an alpaca in the living room. My wife has been doing nothing but sitting on the couch and crocheting for the last month. She doesn't sleep, she doesn't eat -- she even crochets on the treadmill. I have to blend her dinner into a liquid so she can drink it with a straw without stopping. I don't even wanna know how she's working the bathroom thing. She's sold almost 100 hats and scarves in the last month, and is ramping up for Christmas. Baby hats, headbands and brooches, too. She walks around the house muttering, "Gotta have stock. Gotta have stock" under her breath.

So do me a favor -- check out her stuff at anniesoriginals.com and buy some Christmas gifts for god's sake. Help me get out from under this mountain of yarn. After Christmas, I'm hoping she'll slow down for a while. It's bad enough that I already know I 'm not great in bed, but when I have to stop and hand her a different color skein of yarn right in the middle, it really doesn't do much for my self-confidence.

Just to make me feel better, she said that if you tell her I sent you, she'll throw in a free crocheted flower pin. And a picture of me wearing one of her hats and nothing else. Wait, what? No, that last thing isn't happening. Not for free, anyway.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!


18 comments:

  1. Oh that's funny. You’re a good man. She does a great job...at least she is actually doing something with it. I know many others who have purchased all needed to crochet and it ends up sitting in the same corner for a long-long time untouched.

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  2. Already on my list. Plus, I have been meaning to send her a request, but it sounds like maybe I should wait until the holidays are over. What a woman - she can bring home the bacon AND burn off the calories!

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  3. I feel your pain, man. My self-confidence takes a hit when my wife puts up a "BRB" message on Facebook.

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  4. Ha! Well thank goodness she crochets and does not paint. Or else your naked bum might be covered in red or black handprints..
    I will definitely check out her things as I have a new gtrandson making his entrance to the world in January and Ben needs a hat!!

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  5. Maybe she should include a picture of you naked wearing two of her hats. But I'm not buying that second one.

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  6. I love your wife's stuff especially the headbands. Tell her she should have a shop on www.etsy.com. etsy is a site for handmade items and vintage stock only. It is a great site with a huge following. She'd probably sell more there than on her website. Tell her to check it out. People but and sell on this site from all over the world. I'd love to see her there. Thanks for always making me laugh JV!

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  7. Tay, she spins too, and has a giant loom that she hasn't even gotten into yet. God help me.

    KC, I think december will be crazy, but you guys get special treatment. :)

    BG, at least it doesn't say "back in a minute"

    Lynne, she doesn't paint, and that still happens. I can't figure it out.

    Chris, it'd be one of the baby hats for sure.

    She-She, she's working on one I think!

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  8. Oodles of yarn don’t sound that bad to me. I’m sure you’ve got lots of your stuff lying around too. Like you, my husband is a woodworker. So I’ve got stacks of wood all over the place. Down cellar, in the garage, behind the garage, in the yard. It’s everywhere!

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  9. Way ahead of you - I ordered a cream scarf just last week as early birthday gift for myself!

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  10. Went through the same when my wife decided to launch an etsy shop from our basement. Now it's its own store, so less shit in our basement, but more stress.

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  11. Oh my, you are so funny ;)

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  12. I'd certainly consider some of your wife'screations, but I suffer from an early childhood trauma as far a crocheting goes. I was forced to wear a pair of bathing trunks hooked together by my sister...I doubt that I shall ever recover.

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  13. I'm with you brother.

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  14. Anonymous8:39 AM

    Looks exactly like my house. Just got into weaving myself so that has added more to the stash. It could be worse...

    Tracey

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  15. That's nothing, I have that much yarn and I don't make things to sell. I have a pile of wool to spin that big as well. I figure it's pretty good insulation while it's waiting to be knit/crochet/spun

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  16. Your wife's hats rock! I started wearing mine last month. I'm glad to hear she's cranking 'em out and selling her stock! Woot!

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  17. She'd better keep all that yarn away from your kitty cats!

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  18. kristina6:58 PM

    I'd pay for that picture!

    Your wife does lovely work, and if it actually got that cold around here, I'd by some hats and scarves for my family and friends - sorry I can't help you out of the mountain...

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