A picture is worth...well...pretty much nothing in this case.

I can't get used to the way Blogger handles the pictures now. It sucks, and the spacing is all off.  

Since I am pressed for time today, and I have no idea how this new picture BS works, I figured we'd do a picture post because that makes sense.  

The reason it's a short post today is because I'm going to relive a bit of my childhood tonight and see Rush in concert.  I'll let you know how it goes -- they are supposed to be playing all of Moving Pictures, which they've never done before.  If you haven't checked out the new movie "Beyond the Lighted Stage" I highly recommend it. Very entertaining.  How these guys are not yet in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is beyond me.  Even if you hate them, you have to respect them.

Anyway, my blackberry ran out of space today, and I realized it's because I have a ton of completely useless and ridiculous pictures on it that I barely remember taking.  I was going to just delete them, but then I figured I'd share them with you, and let you make whatever judgements you have to about the sort of shit I deem picture-worthy.  Sorry for the quality.  It's a crappy phone.

First up - this amazing piece of artwork at my place of employment:

Now, I'm no art critic, but this looks like a bunch of scribbles to me.  In fact, I'd go one better and say that it looks like something that I might have drawn on the wall of the family room when I was 4 years old, given ten minutes of unsupervised time and a 64 pack of Crayolas.

All I can hope is that both the artist who created this abomination and the person who paid good money for it both suffered the same fate that I probably would have, and ended up over someone's knee getting their asses beat.

Next up, an even dozen lemon drops the size of your head:

I found this in my father's bathroom.  After the Rain is not a good description of when this is to be used.  Not at all.

The menu in Ten-Forward:

Commuter rock, waiting for the bus:

I think there's a cream for this:

Dish of candy at work for everyone to help themselves.  Hey! Who wants the shitty jelly beans that my kids won't eat?

I walked into work one day, and this was sitting outside of my cube.  It sat there for two days:

I am pretty sure that 30 seconds before I saw it, it was on the back of someone who said, "Fuck this, I quit."


  1. Anonymous4:57 PM

    Too funny.. now I need to go through mine.. and hey, enjoy the show!!!

  2. Johnny, regarding images, you should convert to WordPress. Google Blogger is for sissies ;). I could help you set it up and even do a free custom theme (i'm a web dev by trade).

    And by the way, the guy that said "fuck this, I quit," was me 2 years ago .. except for it was in the kitchen of a restaurant and I threw down a giant bowl of salad.

  3. Chris, I've thought about that many times. What always stops me is the font colors I've used, and the fact that I've built up some longevity here so the search engines are kind to me.

  4. Anonymous5:31 PM

    That painting/ drawing? Totally a depiction of a race between a dinky car and a coffin on wheels...check it out...look again, and think of those things, and it'll be like those optical illusion pictures that were big in the early 1990s where you had to space out in order to see the image.

    Dinky car.

    Coffin. On wheels.

    Vroom vroom!

  5. Virgil. That painting looks like Salvador Dali accidentally dropped a piece of his work in a puddle....

  6. How do you always make the ordinary, extraordinarily funny? If you run out of stories for your book, just put in a few pictures with funny captions, a la MikWright.

    Enjoy Rush! I saw them once, when I was in college. Amazing show.

  7. chicken warp and commuter rock are my faves! I love your quick wit, very entertaining. enjoy the show.

  8. Hey, my friend Jennifer is going to that same concert. If you run into her, tell her I said Hi!

  9. 2 DAYS!

    That sucks!


  10. Dude for real - the blogger picture THING is kicking my ass! Bastards, I shouldn't have to screw around with HTML just to put up some pics of babies and beef cheeks and lymph nodes.

    But no - Wordpress NO. I tried and couldn't get used to it, blogger's been good to us for too long.

  11. That first picture looks like a nightmare.

  12. There is a coffin there. Are the other things cockandballs?

    Maybe I need some therapy.

  13. Okay, I GUESS I'll roll my eyes less when my husband says WAIT WAIT WAIT I need to get a picture of this. Apparently he's not alone.

  14. Hi. I for one think the pix are well placed. I don't know how hard it is to put them up though. I think I have sat next to the commuter rock while waiting for a bus a time or two. We didn't have much to talk about though - so I can't let you in on his or her deepest thoughts. I couldn't even find out if it was married or not or had children. I have had the fuck it moment many time. Now that I am older, I have the thoughts but don't follow up with action. Gets lazy after awhile. Have fun finding your youth. It's there.

  15. BTW, "After the Rain washes away the tears and all the pain". I didn't realize they were talking about a room spray, but it makes sense now.

  16. Anonymous6:07 PM

    By the by... That concert was AWESOME! But, you know that because you were there...

  17. I wonder if Captains Kirk or Picard ever reached Smokehouse Chicken Warp speed? That picture actually reminds me of the time I drove up to an ATM that was not able to accept deposits. The sign attached said "we apologize for the incontinence." I didn't know that ATM deposits had a direct effect on bladder control.

  18. Well tailored, I saw the coffin too!

    Corianda, I'm not familiar with Sal's work for the most part, other than his more famous paintings.

    KC, it's my curse.

    Reiven, thanks! It was amazing.

    Ed, yeah, that's how often they clean our offices.

    Gringa, I am still thinkin about it. But I hate dealing with webhost issues.

    Mick, you do need therapy, I think. I can't see balls in there anywhere.

    Lorraine, Commuter rock is just shy. He totally wanted you.

    KC, it DOES, doesn't it?

    Anon, it was fantastic. The lights, the show, even Geddy's voice on the moving pictures stuff impressed me. Still has some trouble with the really old stuff, but I have to cut him some slack since he's playing bass, keyboards and bass pedals all at the same time.

  19. Anonymous8:17 PM

    If you go to Wordpress, I will lead the revolt and personally walk naked down route 301 (well it's a boring road) but anyway your home is here...

  20. hehe...just came across your blog! Love it...this post made me smile....alot.
    thanks for sharing...pictures came through fine!

  21. Once again, you leave me gasping for breath and my side aching from laughing.

    Thanks for that, I had a really crappy day and you helped me get over it.

  22. Those are hilarious! I love taking pics like that! Also, Rush is awesome!

  23. Rush is the best - my favorite band of all time. I live in Cleveland, home of the Rock Hall (what a frigging bore THAT place is), and the asswipe from Rolling Stone said, and I quote, "As long as I'm alive, Rush will never be in the Hall of Fame." They typically don't like prog rock. Note how few prog bands are in there. Kinda of ironic, too, since Cleveland radio station WMMS is the one who broke Rush into the US market.

  24. I love Rush!!! I saw them in concert about a month ago, and I'm seeing them again in a few weeks. I'm so excited!!!

    Did you like their new songs too? I think they're pretty slammin' especially for "old" guys :-)

    Geddy Lee is the hottest, ugliest dude ever to live.

  25. Oh, hilarious.

    Hey, I think your photos are deep, with lots of substance and show a prolific sense of compassion and hint at some sort of genius- - -

    Okay. I can't do this anymore.

    Btw: I like the canoe that's shaped like a coffin in the first photo. Very art-sy.

  26. Zanth, I've only heard Caravan and the one other that they played at the show. Definitely harder edged. I liked it. The show was fantastic. I'm glad I brought my ear plugs though. Damn, those guys make a lot of noise.

  27. I think the first pic is an illustration of your blogging life, keep that one! A coffin, instant coffee spillage, mexican sunset, spider, deck cleaning, server, test modum, outdoor toilet, a co worker, flower from wife's hat, left over jellie beans, and airplane crash from megatooth/octapi thingy!

  28. Hope we get a blog/pics on going to a Rush Concert 20 years after the first one you maybe went to?
    Rush Rules!

  29. Anonymous1:11 PM

    I'm glad to hear that the Rush concert is great because on 8/14 I'm seeing them in Vegas. I cannot wait! They were one of my very first concerts back in the 70s when I was about 17. (yeah, I'm old)

    We have a picture on the wall of our office that looks like an orgy. It's an bunch of shapes that look like a pile of human limbs and it's in shades of peach/pink. Very fleshy looking. It's right by the door so every time I come in or leave it's right there with it's big orgy message. Disturbing!

  30. anon, you will love the show. Much better than the last tour. And speaking of corporate art, your orgy reminds me of this post.:

  31. Mackerel9:28 PM

    The last one looks like something that fell out of a Jawa sandcrawler. I can hear Luke now:

    "Uncle Owen, the 3PO unit's got a bad motivator!"

    And Uncle Owen:

    "Hey what are you tryin' to pull on us?"

    And little Jawa Jimmy saying:

    "Fuck it, I don't need this!"