Who voted for this assclown?

I had something funny planned for tonight, but my mood was altered when Yort sent me a text this evening about my knife, a spyderco Delica.

It turns out that the little pocket knife I've been carrying for the last 15 years is now
illegal according to Manhattan district attorney Cyrus Vance Jr.

Watch this video -- if the guy were any more sanctimonious he'd be kissing his own ass in a fit of congratulatory passion.

This is completely ridiculous, and right now I'm so pissed off and ashamed that I actually live in this fucked up state that I feel like taking a shit on the capitol steps and then moving someplace else where the people making the laws don't have manicures and aren't bat-shit crazy.

Talk about a waste of manpower and taxpayer money....My conservative guess is that 99.99% of the people buying a knife in EMS are probably not going to go out the next day and rob someone at knife point. And the media buys right into it, showing crap like that.

He also made a big deal about how 19 of the 59 homicides in Manhattan in 2009 were stabbings, but he conveniently left out how many of those were actually committed using a folding knife. My guess would be that NY statistics are about the same as those of the rest of the country, and majority of fatal stabbings were committed with kitchen knives.

This was a blatant shakedown, pure and simple. He successfully extorted over 1.9 million dollars from Home Depot, Eastern Mountain Sports and others -- over half of it for Manhattan.

The undercover video is a joke, as is his little knife display for the press conference. I'd say over half the knives I see on that table don't fit the legal definition of switchblade or gravity knife, and therefore should not be illegal to carry in NY State. It reminds me of the scene in Atlas Shrugged where Henry Reardon realizes the laws aren't being enacted for any other reason than to make criminals out of people who weren't the day before.

If Vance wants to pretend to do something for his salary, maybe Manhattan should have separate knife laws, and he should just leave the rest of the state out of his little imaginary world where he is saving the planet from wrong-doers. What's next? Outlawing walking sticks, or maybe screwdrivers?

Sorry for the rant. Ted Nugent notwithstanding, I gave these guys and these guys some money today.

I use my knife at least a few times a day, and in the last 15 years, the only person I've stabbed with it has been myself. WTF.


  1. i agree with what they have done. the world will now be a safer place because small knives are now illegal. To really help me sleep at night though, i'd appreciate if all knives were in fact made illegal. Especially kitchen knices. They are big and sharp and dangerous. If a killer was short of a weapon all they would need to do is go into any kitchen.

    BAN ALL KNIVES (but keep current gun ownership laws the same)

  2. Wow. Politicians everywhere are really scrambling to keep their jobs. The problem is, they're so out of touch with the populace that they end up doing crap like this. Embrace a little Civil Disobedience - keep carrying that knife. (BTW, John Galt Gifts has a T-shirt with that qoute of Hank's that you're talking about).

  3. And next it will be your kitchen Knives!

    Chief Blonde
    Still Blonde after all these YEARS
    A blog for Women over 45

  4. This country gets crazier every day.(Maybe the rest of the world does too, but I don't live anywhere but here so I don't know for sure.) What has happened to common sense? Actually what has happened to all people in "authority"? Do they ever listen to what they say? It's getting scary!

  5. Nail clippers are still legal, as long as they aren't the large hang-nail kind. You can do 6 months if they catch you with those.

  6. James Madison8:20 AM

    Come on down to Delaware, Johnny. We still have our common sense intact, at least for the time being...

  7. Makes me glad I'm not in NY, that's for certain. Next on his agenda, water guns, staple guns, nail guns, and the song "Mack the Knife".

  8. In North Carolina we have knives, guns, and duct tape (which can be used as a weapon if you know what you are doing). Maybe a taste of the south will suit your weapon carrying needs...

  9. I used to carry a little pen knife on my key ring. My dad gave it to me. It was ivory, maybe an inch and a quarter long and 80 years old. I couldn't even puncture a bicycle tube with it but sometimes it came in handy. It was confiscated from me when I walked in to the local federal building. I suppose owning ivory alone was enough to make me a criminal but an ivory pen knife apparently strikes fear into the hearts of the federal marshal service.

  10. its the political way... if you can't do something effective, do something stupid but have your media stoogies give it good airplay. its how you get eleceted.

  11. "someplace else where the people making the laws don't have manicures and aren't bat-shit crazy."

    that would be Arizona! Come on out! It's fabulous all year long! Winters are nearly never cold. Spring and Fall are perfect for outdoor activities. and Summer is ideal for water sports and pool parties.

    Self Defense is legal and encouraged. Open carry is legal and always has been except for that small bit of nastiness down in Tombstone in the 1880s but that was before statehood. Concealed carry is currently legal with a permit and, in just another month, no permit will be required.

    We don't take any crap down here. We're more Texas than Texas.

    Seriously, this is a great place. I've been here for 22 years and I still love it.

  12. pretty soon the government will be outlawing everything but sporks!

  13. Stardancer4:29 PM

    @ Reiven - but you'd better watch for those titanium sporks!!

  14. @Kiki, I'm confused...if you ban all knives it wont matter, a killer could make do with just about anything as a weapon...The point is that the intent will always be there.

  15. Yep, another ludicrous ban on the law abiding citizens. Now you are that much unsafer from the criminals because they don't care about the laws and you know damn well they are carrying knives and guns themselves. I guess you guys could always start loading your pockets up with rocks.They did some good damage in Monty Python's Life of Brian. Last I heard, they aren't illegal....YET.

  16. I'm waiting for the day when they finally start banning rocks!

    That way, I can honestly pave over my driveway, and not deal with the pebbles!

  17. I'm curious how they are interpreting the law to make these knives illegal--Apparently NYC is counting any folding knife with a locking blade as a gravity knife.

    US Customs was trying to push a similar interpretation on imported knives a year or two ago--anything that could be opened one handed wold be illegal to import--that would include virtually every single-blade knife.

  18. Anonymous1:03 AM

    Don't rehabilitate the criminals..just take away the knives..that will end crime! idiots

  19. Anonymous8:12 AM

    We are no longer a free nation. How did we let this happen?

  20. I have a knife I bought in Missouri a few years ago that seems like it'd be a gravity knife... there's a little tab I have to press with my thumb on one side, then I can either pull the blade out and lock it in place or flick it with my wrist and it'll pop out and lock in place.

    Is this the kind of blade they're referring to?

  21. Anonymous2:46 PM

    Oh My GOD! These things can be "brandished"! That would be way too cool and make New York look like New Jersey. It would be interesting to know how many of those 19 crimes used knives like the ones banned. Damn those efficient carpenters and drywallers! They must work slower in the interest of public safety!

  22. I don't know about the American Knife folk (your link)and their agenda but I know about Nugent and I think he's an ass. Never liked his music and I like his politics even less. That being said, you have a point...

    The last time I traveled with my father, he was 92 years old. I flew to California and brought him back on a plane to NH. It was 2002; America was on high alert and flying was a bitch. My dad was "randomly selected" by a computer to be search...a 92 yr old WWII Colonel, no less. He had the Swiss Army knife I bought him when I was 19 years old backpacking through Europe. I bought it in Switzerland and it was a beauty. he loved that knife. He'd forgotten it was on him. They took it away from him. They threw it in a box along with a gazillion other "forbidden" items. He asked if they would mail it back to him if he paid for it.


    He was heartbroken and tears rolled down his cheeks. I was so angry but what could I do?

    92 fucking years old and they searched him and made him take off his shoes & socks and hat and sweater and that was all BEFORE they found the knife.

    So, I have very mixed feelings. I don't want to be attacked by some true believer with a box cutter but I don't want my rights completely trampled on either. It's a tough call but there needs to be some common sense inherent in the indignities to which we are now exposed.

  23. Kiki, You're right. We should ban forks, too. Those things are stabby.

    KC, I intend to. At least until I get arrested, printed, and have my DNA recorded. THAT was the other thing. He wanted to make it a law that anyone caught with one would be required to give a dna sample.

    Mellodee, the answer would be unless you live in NYC or in CA, you don't count.

    Shammy, I have a pair of TOEnail clippers that could take your arm off.

    James -- delaware, huh? I don't know much about it, but it sounds nice. Any IT work?

    Toni, I often thought about that area of the country. My sis lived in NC for a bit.

    Hat, that's just sad. At the very least, they should have let you bring it back to your car. I once had a solid pewter keychain fob in the shape of an old cowboy bullet confiscated. People are stupid, and they run things.

    JohnnyG, you are so right. You have to look like you're doing stuff for your money. Making the world safe for the children.

    Kirly, I have friends there and if it wasn't for the fact that you can die there in July if you go outside, I'd probably move there in a heartbeat. Not near the mexican border though, because that shit's crazy.

    Reiven, they do indeed sell a titanium spork.

    PNG, I am pretty sure she was being sarcastic.

    MTBLaura, you are right. It should be about intent, not the fact that you have a little knife.

    Sevesteen, you are correct -- that is what they are doing, and that's what pisses me off. Regardless of how hard it is to "flick" the blade open, knifes like my spyderco and the folding utility knives like the ones carried by every carpenter in the universe count as "gravity knives" to these morons. They are just stretching the federal law to their meet their own slimy political ends.

    KPMomma, exactly. Now only criminals will have big knives. I feel much better about that.

    Anon2, yes brandishing is horrible. I brandished a chicken leg at someone once, and you should have seen them cower in fear. It's not the item, it's the *brandishing* (and also how fast you can brandish) that determines the danger.

    Caligirl, and that story right there is chock full of zero common sense, and the desire to be ultra PC about everything. If we pull this shady looking arab out of line, we have to pull the 92-year-old grandfather out too. It's only fair. And I'm even willing to concede that it's different when you're getting on a plane, especially today. Then confiscate away. At the very least, your dad should have been able to return to his car if he had time, or grab a locker. But this isn't about taking away a little knife because you're about to fly. This is about creating criminals, making money and an interpretation of a federal law that lets cops do anything they want, from warning you and taking your stuff to arresting you.

    Anyone with a good lawyer would be able to argue that half the knives on the table in that pic were not "gravity knives" - but if you can't afford a lawyer to fight them on their own skeevy terms, then you're fucked. I actually think CA has a "propensity to close" clause -- where if the knife folds half way and then snaps shut, it's not a gravity knife. I seriously can't believe that Cali has more common sense on something regarding a "weapons" law than NY does.

  24. Also Admiral -- you have a true gravity knife. Basically a switchblade without the spring.

  25. Frances10:24 PM

    Guys like that get elected because a lot of people no longer recognize the difference between form and substance. Chicken Little used to be looked upon as a lesson in silliness. Now he could probably be elected to a state senate.

  26. Anonymous9:56 AM

    I have a teeny tiny knife/bottle opener. It would probably be illegal.

    I managed to get into the Dallas Courthouse with it, a corkscrew, and some nail clippers.

    The only thing the security guard asked me about was the nail clippers.

    This is sort of like the thing they're trying to do in Arlington now, banning people who have been convicted of a prostitution related crime from a certain area. It just disgusts me.

  27. Just Some Guy2:47 PM

    Off topic cohttp://entertainment.blogs.foxnews.com/2010/06/25/80s-icons-debbie-gibson-and-tiffany-to-face-off-onscreen/?test=facesmpletely, but I thought you might enjoy this as it relates to your Giant Shark vs Megalon post from a while back:

  28. So I clicked on the link J.V. embedded for the article in the New York Times and guess what popped up? A Google advertisement for cheap "push button knives" aka switch blades. Gotta love the irony. Maybe the the Manhattan DA should look into regulating internet advertising.

  29. November 2, 2010. Vote them out.

  30. Virgil, last year, my mother in law came to visit from Canada. We sent back an Australian red-gum cheese set (board and knife) wrapped up as a gift which we gave her at the airport and she put in her carry-on bag. Upon her layover in the States, she was interviewed in a small intimidating room and asked to admit to carrying a "dangerous" weapon in her carry-on luggage... The poor (65 year old, small-town, wouldn't say boo to a goose) woman had absolutely no idea what they were talking about and consequently was deemed a "threat". She was forced to open the gift and was overwhelmed with feeling simultaneously gracious for what we had given her and genuinely concerned for her personal freedom. Holy mouther of gouda it was just a CHEESE KNIFE - chillax !

  31. Anonymous10:28 PM

    That's the problem with this country today. The politicians want to legislate the tools out of existence, but they keep forgetting they can't change human nature.

    I can't believe that some of these store owners haven't filed lawsuits yet. According to federal law, they are in the right. I don't know, the whole thing just smells like extortion to me. Of course, it is an election year, so the DA probably just wants people to see him doing something, anything..even if it is a complete waste of time.

    Sorry if I'm rambling, but I've just had a sick feeling in my stomach ever since this story first broke. It pains me to think that one day I may not be able to legally possess a pocket knife anymore. It just doesn't make any sense at all.

  32. Anonymous11:22 AM

    Man, I could go on and on about this. Suffice it to ask, am I the only one who remembers Orwell's 1984? Seems as if this is exactly where we're heading.
    Incidentally, there's a town here in the Atlanta area where it's actually a law that each household is required to own at least one gun. (It's thier way of thumbing thier noses at the anti-gun folks and the fedearl gov't).

  33. Anonymous10:24 PM

    Kirly said:
    "Seriously, this is a great place. I've been here for 22 years and I still love it."

    I agree, I've been here in AZ 6 years and love it.
    Native Upstate New Yorker and would never return.
    It is nice to visit, though.

    PS. It's not just July. It's June and August too. It IS bearable though.
    No snowblowers needed.