4/4/09

My next recurring nightmare. Shrubmonks.

They might not look that scary in this daytime picture, but try walking past them on a foggy, moonlit night at about 2 am when the only sounds you hear are the rustling of their filthy cloaks and the echo of your own footsteps.



They will reach out their shrubby arms and pull you inside them, where you will meet The Things That Live In The Branches.

Sleep well.

28 comments:

  1. The Shining much? There's something living in the hedges?

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  2. i could definetly see them unwrapping those in the spring and finding the skeletons of small children woven into the branches.

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  3. Thank you. I've not been this creeped out since the 'mole people' episode of X Files.

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  4. Yeah. Nightmares to ensue.

    Thanks.

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  5. Wow. I don't think I've ever been quite so scared of a bunch of plants. They also appear to be carrying some sort of banner. Are they going to be in a parade?

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  6. OH FOR CRAP'S SAKE!!!!
    I just peed myself a little.

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  7. Heather, that's the shroud they wrap you in if you are deemed worthy to become one of them.

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  8. aaayyeeeeee!!! that scares me in the daylight! I would have regressed to my 8 year old self and run like the wind if I'd seen those on a foggy night...cripes!

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  9. DarkAthena8:47 PM

    Oh, thank you so much for that. As I lie awake tonight, listening to the snoring of my beloved, I will hear them creeping up my steps, rustling softly with malevolence.

    They're coming to be me, Barbara!

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  10. wow, you've released my imagination and now I cannot go outside for fear of the shrubmonks. Whose name I'm sure you should copyright. In fact I think you should write the short story.

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  11. I live in a city and haven't seen any of these. Maybe in some ways it is safer here???

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  12. fess up. you were not walking past them at 2AM, you were crawling home from a binge....

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  13. But why were you...

    Nope. Not going there. So are you saying it's an honor to be chosen by the ginormous bag worms, or not?

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  14. peter3:45 PM

    they look like some sort of creepy procession or prison gang line.

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  15. glad i read this after the weekend at the cabin. wouldn't want to be in the woods thinking the trees are out to get me... its creepy enough knowing there's a cemetery out there somewhere.

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  16. I find they’re a lot less intimidating if I imagine them chanting “Piae Jesu Domine, dona eis requiem…” and whacking themselves on their shrubby foreheads with a piece of wood after each one. I learned this technique from watching “Monty Python’s Quest for the Holy Grail” and “Waterboy” at the same time. It’s been a big help. You’re welcome.

    Word verification-- "emdowd". That's awesome. Sounds like a drunk trying to recite the Declaration of Independence: "emdowd by their Creator with shertain unail--, unavaila-- unalienable rightsh..."

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  17. There should be little red LED eyes in them. They'd look just like the things in "The Fog".

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  18. umm...i'd say they do look pretty creepy - even in the daytime!

    :)

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  19. Anonymous1:11 PM

    Much less creepy if you imagine them as a line of badly-rolled giant doobies...

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  20. Some of these comments are as funny as your post!

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  21. I notice you took it out the car window; I'm always a little afraid someone is going to come running out of the house shrieking at me for photographing things. Like the Yard of Random Holidays (St Patricks shamrocks and a menorah!),or the house that currently has bunny-ear headbands on all the lantern-jockeys.

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  22. Ok...Maybe it's been discussed..but I'm too lazy to read all the comments...Do we know WHY they do this? It IS getting warmer outside, yes? So, shouldn't we be UNwrapping the plants? Or is the evil contained if they remained wrapped?

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  23. Anonymous4:45 PM

    Maybe this is what the Nights Who Say Ni do with all those shrubbery that they collect. They're forming their own little shrubbery army and one day (scary music) they'll take over the world!

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  24. LOLOLOLOL That's just...LOLOLOLOL
    I'll set the dogs on 'em..

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  25. This is another reason to sleep with an axe.

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  26. Anonymous7:46 AM

    Just made me think of this weird aussie beer ad

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORfkh0OojxY

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  27. Ok at first i thought those are pretty... but you have a way of making them sound creepy.

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  28. Yes they are really nightmares

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