4/30/09

Look at all the dust in this dump.

Thanks for your comments, everyone. This one really hit hard, and continues to. Even though I expect that hurt to last a very long time, one thing I know for sure is that Paul wouldn't want me to be sad, so I'm doing my best not to be.

Toward that end, I'm going to pick up this place a little and get back into the groove. Not tonight, but perhaps this weekend. I'm just trying to figure out exactly how to proceed.

Oddly, things are starting to look a little brighter, and I guess it's in my nature to find humor in things, even when there might not be much to laugh at. Paul was the same way, and one big reason we were such good friends.

I may start with a ghost story. I'm not sure yet.

Anyway, thanks for waiting, and thanks for the words of sympathy, encouragement and kindness.

See you soon.

33 comments:

  1. Just always remember, if one day at a time is too much, you can always go by the hour. Take your time.

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  2. Good to see you back! I keep hearing that song "One toke over the line...." No idea why but think it is about one day at a time like Shine said before me.

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  3. I like to think Paul is (metaphorically speaking) looking down, and thinking, "Wow, nice tribute JV. Thanks."

    And that his next thought is that the ghost story is a real good idea.

    Paul is totally alive. Just in the past...

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  4. Glad to see you back. No need to thank any of us -- thank YOU for sharing this story with us. We tend to forget how short life can be, and tend to take our friends for granted. I'm trying to do better, and I'll bet a lot of others are as well.

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  5. Of course I don't know, but I feel (uck)...glad to have you back on line. Few have your way with words, I sure don't, but I love for you to make me laugh and cry. I'm so sorry about your feline and wish I had a human that I felt that strongly about. Love.

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  6. Gald you are back.

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  7. Good to see you (your words? gaah. This is why I leave the writing to the talented like you, and just stick to what I know: reading.)

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  8. It's supposed to hurt for a long time when we lose the ones we care deeply for.

    Just keep on keepin' on, my friend. You'll get there.

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  9. I'm very glad to have you back!

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  10. Tell us a story that would make Paul laugh.

    We have a 'Paul' too; we lost him in 1999 and I miss him every day. Only when I think of him I don't think of that awful day when we said goodbye; I think of him standing on his couch playing his bass along with the stereo, jumping down with a guilty look when his wife stuck her head in to say dinner was ready. He was wisdom and unmitigated joy despite his health, which was lousy. I still believe I can learn to be like that.

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  11. Matt M9:39 AM

    See you soon.

    Thanks.

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  12. so glad you're back somewhat. And yes, ghost stories please :)

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  13. Anonymous10:42 AM

    So glad to see you back. You were missed.

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  14. Carrie11:36 AM

    Glad you're coming back - you have been missed.

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  15. Welcome back JV.
    I'd love to hear a ghost story.

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  16. Anonymous1:19 PM

    It's great to see you back JV. I've been checking every couple of days. Looking forward to your next tale.

    Paul is with you always.

    KMarie

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  17. I just found your blog today thru a friend, and read about your loss... I can't express enough my sympathies to you... know you have my prayers, as does his family for their loss... you were blessed to have such a friend in your life for so long, cherish the memories and laugh for him, don't cry.

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  18. I can't imagine losing a best friend and a best friend within 30 days of each other. May your burdens soon be lightened.

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  19. Yes! Welcome back to a very large group of friends that you'll never meet but love you regardless.

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  20. A year. For about a year, you'll think of it every single day. After that, there may be enough scar tissue formed to let you go a day or so without thinking about it.

    We'll be here, whenever.

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  21. musicfan4:12 PM

    {{{{{Hugs}}}}} to you...we'll be here whenever you are ready...take all the time you need and know our thoughts are with you.

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  22. Take your time, JV. We'll be here.

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  23. Anonymous10:28 PM

    JV, I've long been a fan, but never posted. I am so sorry for your loss, but I'm glad to see you are thinking about your next story. For sure Paul would want you to enjoy every day this life gives you. We missed you and we'll wait however long it takes for you to be ready to post again. Peace to you and yours,
    Fran

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  24. Wow, I haven't been here in a while. You've had a couple of really awful losses in a relatively short time.

    I think the best advice was given by shine- one thing at a time.

    Glad to see you're back to blogging. I really enjoy your writing, always laughed at the silly posts and now crying at the sad ones. The lengths you went to for your cat were amazing, it says a lot about you as a friend and a person. And while I've often wondered what I would do if I lost a best friend, I can only imagine how hard that is to go through.

    Thanks for blogging about your life, and it's really touching to see all the outpouring of support from strangers on the internet.

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  25. Words fail me. Sorry.

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  26. I would say 'welcome home' but that's not quite right, is it... so let's leave it at 'THANK GOD YOU CAME BACK'.

    And yes yes yes to ghost stories... please?

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  27. Anonymous7:27 PM

    Glad you are back. Your memories of Paul were so wonderful to hear. What a great friend he was and what a great friend you are.

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  28. Glad you're back. Take your time.

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  29. welcome back...when the days seem too long, even the hours - just do what you can. take it 10 minutes at a time but most of all, be patient and kind with yourself. to say you've been through a lot is an understatement.

    thanks for being you.

    :)

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  30. Welcome back sweetie. Each day as it comes, rain or shine, moment to moment.
    Hmmmm the Pixie feels a quotation coming on:
    In the hour of adversity,
    be not without hope,
    for crystal rain falls from
    dark clouds.

    We're all right behind you hunny....waiting for whenever your ready. And WOW almost 200 comments, that's some support. Can you feel the love we're sending you?
    Bright blessings,
    Pixie Sue xxx

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