And the winner is....

Not Diesel. And not that guy in the picture, because he's wearing speedos with a little bow and probably has paper cuts on his junk.

First off, thanks for voting for my buddy Brennin, and if you get the chance to vote again, please do so. It'll be a kick to see him on TV. I don't know about you, but every time he snaps that old permed-up picture of Ellen and does that sideways head-bob thing, I laugh out loud. You may say I'm easily amused, and you'd be right of course, but that's ok.

As for the prize drawing, I thought better of drawing names from my underwear (although there's plenty of extra room in there) and instead just used....my hat. Yes, original, I know. But to be fair, it's the hat I don't wear out in public. It's the hat I only wear when nobody is home and I can run up and down the stairs pretending to be Indiana Jones. This hat:

Really, this is just to prove to you all the painstaking effort I put into this endeavor. I typed all your names into notepad because trying to paste html into excel was pissing me off. Then, THEN, I printed them out and cut them into strips.

And do you know why I went to all this effort and took all this time? You are correct. It's because I really should be working on my taxes and I will literally use any excuse to avoid doing that until I absolutely have to.

Here's the fruit of my labor:

Since my wife is working and not able to don her tiara and sparkling onesie in order to draw a name from the hat, I had to do it myself. Since Brennin said he's sending me some CDs, I am going to draw 6 names from the hat instead of just one, and the first five people will get a copy of Brennin's first CD. Drum roll please......

6th place: Anhara (please, please, please don't be in the far east)

5th place: Deanna

4th place: Christina

3rd place: Tricialynn

2nd place: Melodie

And the grand prize winner of the JV Box 'O Junk is: Tracey

Jeez, that list reads like the Tuesday night line-up at the Bada Bing club. Congrats everyone!

Drop me an e-mail (see my profile) with your mailing addresses and please allow 6-8 weeks for delivery. Not really, but that gives me some time to do my taxes. (I'll let you know after the IRS has their way with me if I'll need to collect postage. Just kidding. Probably.)

And if you curious about what wonderful assortment of junk is in the box, here it is:

A copy of Brennin's 2007 self-titled debut CD.

A FULL-SCREEN DVD of Ghost Rider starring Nicholas Cage. Yeah. My Dad doesn't know the difference. I mean, FULL sounds better than WIDE, doesn't it? Who doesn't want their screen FULL?

An opened and played once copy of the debut CD by Glasvegas, given to me by my buddy dUgE of Kasim Sulton and Isle of Q fame. They're supposed to be the Next Big Thing. They are not going to be the next big thing for me, because I don't like singers who sound like Bono.

The candy pooping Santa Claus from this post.

A new copy of Good Charlotte's "Greatest Remixes" CD. I am not a fan of rap, even when it's dressed up in punk pop clothing. A rap remix of a song is like saying "Here, let me pour some shit on that for you." It might not be that bad, but I didn't want to chance it, so it's still in the cellophane.

A graphic novel of the Family Guy episode "Peter the Great"

A sunglasses-wearing Coke can from 1991 that dances to music. Batteries not included. Well, they were included but they were dead, so I figured I would take them out to save on shipping.

An unopened tin of Ironport mints from a trade show that says "Mints made in USA or China." I supposed that means if you're a gambler, you will either get an enjoyable mint or your USDA recommended daily allowance of melamine.

A weird, suction-cupped stick-on digital clock from IBM/Lotus that gives me nightmares because I'm convinced it walks around at night. Just look at it. You know I'm right.

A $20 gift card from the store that shall not be named.

A home-made wooden prototype of a rubber band pistol. It never made it into production, although I did make a really nice cherry and maple "executive edition" for my father before he retired. Don't shoot your eye out, kid.

And last but not least, a BRAND NEW pair of Toasti-Toes foot warmers!

Thanks for playing along. You guys are the best.

As for me, I'm going to go make a fresh pot of coffee and get out of this tiara and onesie.


  1. watch what you say about the bada bing. uncle sil and paulie walnuts will take you on a sicilian fishing trip...

  2. I WON I WON I WON!!! JV, I never win ANYTHING! This rocks! (Also, I am in no way in the far east. I am a white chick living in Philly. I also have no explanation for my freakish name, and can only guess what my parents might have been smoking. It does, however, come in handy when tricking long-distance employers who are excited to get a minority hire.) And because I am lush with power over my recent win, I will go on to mention that this is not the first time I have been mistaken for a stripper. But that's a story for another day...

    Your generosity is huge, and the person that landed the grand prize is totally cleaning up. Also, I love your blog.

  3. Oooooooooo! I am so jealous. Congrats winners!

  4. I think you got that coke can from me during a stealing santa game. I always resented that loss. I did manage to get a perpetual motion sculpture (battery operated) but it just wasn't the same.

  5. Anonymous6:48 PM

    My husband has one of those hats. AND the Official IJ jacket. They're the last word in sexy.

    I like that box of junk. Run some more contests!

  6. wait... i'm really bummed. i totally missed out on this fun. guess that's what i get for being too sick to read blogs. :( the good news is i'm much, much better so i'm totally game for the next contest!

  7. I'm so excited to be included in the list of winners! Thanks!

  8. I'D say being easily amused is a blessing. I hope your friend gets on TV . For your sake.


  9. Johnny,

    You beat me to the tiara & onesie joke-- unless you had it in mind the whole time. Which, knowing you, was probably the case.

    Great contest, great prizes. Sorry I missed it.

    Amazing how many of those names end in vowel sounds, though. There's been a thing in our family that vowel endings make for superior names, because they're much easier for Mom to yell from the front porch when it's time to come in.

  10. congrats to all the winners! :)

    i too laugh OUT LOUD at brennin's video - everytime! so, add me to the easily amused list!

    steve p - no kidding about that name thing!


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  12. Oh Johnny, you should have copied and pasted the names into notepad; then imported into excel as a delimited format.... -_-

  13. Anonymous2:18 AM

    so while i was at home with my parents this weekend, i logged on to 15ml to check for updates and was greeted by orange bowtie manpants just as my dad was walking by.

    the lesson here: to avoid awkward hurried explanations with one's parents, only check 15ml while seated in corners or against walls with no room for walking behind.

  14. You're bitching about full screen, and not a single complaint about the movie itself? Ghost Rider epitomizes everything that is wrong with american movie studios and, more specifically, Nicolas Cage.

  15. Anon, that's probably a good plan. It's basically the same way I write it, so you're probably on to something.

    Pos, good point. That movie was a travesty and an insult to Johnny Blaze.

    Ironman, however, redeemed Marvel in my eyes. I have high hopes for Thor and the Avengers.

  16. Anonymous3:48 PM

    So did he win???

  17. Supposedly, they announce the winner on Monday. The show called him to get more information last week, so hopefully that's a good sign.

  18. You said:

    A rap remix of a song is like saying "Here, let me pour some shit on that for you."

    Could I possibly love you any more?