Good Vibrations.

I work out regularly and try to stay in shape. Sometimes the last thing on earth I want to do is hit the weights or the treadmill. While browsing through a magazine the other day, I spotted the answer to all my motivational problems. It's a new "exercise" machine made by Soloflex. I had one of the original Soloflex machines, and while not completely useless, it was a lot better at storing clothes than building muscles. This one looks more interesting:



While "Ahhhhhh!" is not a sound I generally make while working out, I guess it's not completely out of the question. For only $495, this miraculous piece of equipment provides "low amplitude mechanical vibrations" that allegedly "improve circulation, strength, flexibility and balance."

You're supposed to sit on it, stand on it, lie down on it or dry-hump it for ten minutes a day. OK, I added that last one just to see if you were paying attention.

I can tell you a couple of things right off the bat -- One, she did not get that body using only that machine. Two, this thing is basically a full-body sex toy. In fact, if you look closely at the woman's face, she is obviously forming a deep personal relationship with the Soloflex WBV.



In fact, I'd be willing to bet you a hundred bucks that if you tried to take it away from her right now you would find yourself waking up in the hospital with no recollection of how you got there.

Soloflex may have hit a home run here because she clearly didn't seem to give a shit that there was a photo shoot going on.

Ahhhhhh!, indeed.