2/13/07

New Rule.

I thought of a new rule on my way home from work today, as I drove for close to 20 miles behind someone who apparently had absolutely nowhere to be.

If the back of your car looks anything like this:

You are NOT ALLOWED to go under the speed limit. Ever.

In fact, if you have any numbers at all stuck to your car -- whether it be a sweet Audi or a piece of shit '72 Pontiac -- and these numbers actually belong on the cars of NASCAR drivers living or dead, you are required to go AT LEAST ten miles per hour OVER the speed limit at all times.

To reiterate my point: Even if by some chance a deadly virus killed everyone in the world but the cops and YOU, and their single, all-consuming purpose for living has become repeatedly pulling your sorry ass over, BY GOD YOU WILL DRIVE FASTER THAN THE POSTED LIMIT.

Do you hear me? Good.

Now go home and pull that sticker off your car because you're an embarrassment to NASCAR, and that's a pretty effing hard thing to accomplish.

20 comments:

  1. xDoes that other sticker say "Got Booty?"???

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  2. yes. Because nothing says "give me booty" like NASCAR.

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  3. Yeah, I think taking Nascar down a notch would be a trick.

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  4. Confused teenager, mother never looks at back of car, father no idea what booty is or who 24 was.

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  5. colin, confused teenagers ALWAYS speed (at least I always did) so I'm not sure about that theory.

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  6. My Uncle Earl has them all over his 72 Pontiac, he says they hold things together better then Bondo and duct tape.

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  7. Confused teen was not driving he uses the car at night, ma or pa was driving for your pleasure.

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  8. I may be from the south and I may have a #24 sticker on my car, but I make sure to always go 10 mph over the limit. Especially on the way to the track. I guess I could be the exception.

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  9. stephanie10:37 AM

    Nascar. I shudder.

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  10. John the scientist11:08 AM

    "Yeah, I think taking Nascar down a notch would be a trick."

    Well, the local track runs schoolbus demolition derbies on their non-race days, I think that might qualify. I'm going to take my daughter when she gets old enough.

    Yeah, I'm a Southerner.

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  11. Well then Colin, they should be made aware of the new rule. Please direct all parents you know who fit this description to my blog. thank you.

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  12. Well... maybe that isn't the NASCAR "24". Maybe it's the Jack Bauer "24" and the driver was on assignment from CTU, operating undercover. You could've blown the whole operation!

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  13. Bring shame to NASCAR?

    Leave this one to the Top Gear boys:

    Watch this, and avoid Alabama.

    Stonings ensue.

    - Scott

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  14. Oh dude you totally bashed NASCAR, you better hope rednecks can't hack.

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  15. Not at all. but if you're gonna talk the talk, walk the walk.

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  16. john the scientist3:31 PM

    "you better hope rednecks can't hack."

    Us edumacated ones can. Heh. I'm a Yankee liberal's worst nightmare, a redneck with a Ph.D.

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  17. John, we gotta get together for a beer.

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  18. john the scientist9:23 AM

    JV - the next time you're headed over to see your brother the scientist, let me know.

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  19. You won't thwart me again BBC! Not after what happened in '02!

    I know no one cares, but in the interest of my on-going feud with the BBC, here's a working version of that link.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82C18czA3jU

    - Scott

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  20. Total Necropost but hey I just found the blog and am catching up. Did anyone else notice this is a Jetta 1.8T as in turbo. I think that makes it even funnier. spend an extra 5k for the ability to go really fast. (5k is calculating in higher insurance costs too) then keep it under the speed limit so people behind you have the time to read and appreciated that you have a turbo and are obviously faster then them cause you are in front right?

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