Those crazy party frogs

I worked from home for a half day today, then took some time off this afternoon to go to the dentist. As a result, I had a few hours to kill while I was waiting for leave for my appointment. While I was eating lunch, I flipped on the TV.

It's amazing the things you can learn if you watch TV while you eat. If you watch the Discovery Channel and happen to get lucky, you can eat at the exact same time as the cheetah, which has a certain primal appeal. Nothing like eating a nice hunk of grilled bison while the same exact animal is getting ripped apart and eaten raw right in front of your eyes.

No such luck today.

Today, I learned about Frogs, and how they throw up. Oddly enough, this is one thing about frogs that I have never deeply pondered. You would think that 'How Frogs Puke' would have been right up there on my list, but no.

Apparently, most frogs can intentionally vomit up their entire stomachs, and then use their front legs to shove the offending matter out. Then they simply re-swallow their stomachs and continue on their merry way. No muss, no fuss.

The first thing I thought of was how awesome that would be. You have to admit that after a night of heavy drinking and way too many jalepeno poppers, it would be great if you could just huck up your entire stomach, turn it inside out and dump the contents into the toilet like that bowl of 2 week-old stew from the fridge, and then just swallow it down again. No more running to the bathroom in the middle of the night. No more sticking your finger down your throat and praying to throw up. Think of the time and agony you would save yourself.

If you were a real party animal, you could accomplish this stomach manuever right in the bathroom stall at the club. You wouldn't even have to worry about having puke breath. Just dump your guts and head back to the party. Gives the term 'sucking in your stomach' a whole new meaning.

On the other hand, even though the frog didn't bat an eye, it just can't be very pleasant. Plus, if humans could do it, it would probably look pretty disgusting.

Imagine walking into the men's room, and seeing some guy standing in front of the sink with his stomach hanging out of his mouth. I'm sure that if it was crowded in there when he did it, it would cause a chain reaction, and pretty soon there'd be six guys standing there resting their inside out stomachs on their chests.

Truth be told, I think it would be the sounds they would make swallowing them again that would really get to me.

Now I'm going to have nightmares tonight. Damn you, Discovery Channel.

Next time I'm just going to watch The Food Network.....although with my luck, Rachael Ray would probably huck up her stomach.