Random stuff from my phone.

Sometimes when I see something that makes me laugh, I take a picture of it. Then I forget about it completely. Eventually I need to clean them off my phone to make some space, and I try to remember what it was about that particular thing that made me laugh. Sometimes it's obvious, and sometimes... well, not so much.

Why did I take this picture, for instance?

I have no clue. It was something I saw at work, but now I have no idea what the hell I thought I was going to do with it. I really have to start writing some of these ideas down.

How about this one?

"Yo, OTIS! Elevator broke!"

I saw this CD in the store a few weeks ago:

Did you ever notice it makes Art Garfunkel look like he has a giant porn 'stache?

No? It's just me?

At what point in someone's day do they decide they'd like nothing more in life than a tramp stamp for their SUV?

If you're gonna do that shit, at least center it on the window.

I'm really glad they're finally getting rid of all the Christmas decorations at work. This deranged looking Santa has been standing on the corner of my row for almost two months now:

He looks like he should have a bottle of Jack in his hand. But he doesn't. What he does have in his hand is what really has me worried:

I had absolutely nothing to do with that.

Or how about this picture I've entitled Cleveland, Encapsulated:

Here's some gay mermen christmas ornaments for your enjoyment:

Man. I really have to start working out again.

Lastly, have you heard about this new thing called Owling? It's supposed to be the new "planking." If planking wasn't quite stupid enough for you, now you can perch somewhere and have someone take a picture of your dumb ass. I'm not even sure if Owling is a real thing, but go see for yourself.

All I have to say is this:

Ok, so that last picture wasn't from my phone.

That you know of.


  1. I'm so glad I am not the only one that had random pictures on my phone. I found knew of Paula Deen the other day. Talk about a what the frack moment.

    We need one of you owling now, so get to it!

  2. Owling: The Movie.
    Just think about that for a moment.

  3. I always suspected that Father Christmas moonlighted as the Angel of Death. You found proof!

  4. Gay Mermen ornaments?? Excuse me, but exactly WHERE did you find these gems? What kind of stores are you frequenting these days, Mr. Virgil? Enquiring minds want to know! :-) Truly, I am agog.

    And I love the "tramp stamp" for the SUV. You are right on with that designation.

  5. Great pics! So funny!!!!

    I ignored planking and I will add Owling to my list. Bored peeps in this world.

  6. To say "deranged-looking Santa" is redundant. Every Santa looks deranged. He's like clowns. Supposed to be all jolly and shit, and every likeness is just terrifying. Why do we continue the madness that is Santa? It's just wrong.

  7. My Mom has a life-sized Santa that she puts up every year, as well as a miniature village. One year we put a cigarette in Santa's mouth and then set upon her village, arranging the various ice skaters and reindeer in obscene poses. :)

  8. Garfunkel's porn 'stache. That's awesome.

  9. I have a picture in my phone of bacon-flavored coffee syrup. Does a bacon latte sound good to you?

    Also, owling is passe, as are many of those trends by the time they become trends. Apparently, the new thing is Tebowing (Tim Tebow's prayer stance).

  10. Tracy, why? WHY??? Dear God that woman drives me insane. I'm not sure my current back situation would let me owl. I think I might make a bumper sticker that says "Too Old To Owl"

    dbs -- that could only lead to The Owling part 2-VII and that wouldn't be good for anyone.

    BG -- there's a short story idea for you. Instead of everyone wanting Santa to show up on Christmas eve, it's just the opposite.

    RiderWriter -- What happens in Ogonquit stays in Ogonquit. And it was a NORMAL STORE.

    Island, good plan. What the hell are you doing in your Avatar?

    Faegan, solid point.

    Dragon, I'm sure your mother was extremely pleased.

  11. Bubby, I've seen the Tebow. Way less dangerous than Owling. Or planking. Or Powling.

    Also, Bacon latte. Mmmmmm.

  12. I do not know. But it was one of her pre plastic surgery (you KNOW she's atleast had a facelift) so it was extra scary.)

  13. I found one on my phone of a product called Butt Paste! I think it was to show to my daughter who just had a baby, but not sure. So I deleted it.

    Love the mermen!

  14. Sandi, this stuff?


  15. Mackerel12:31 PM

    My theory on the "deranged" Santa:

    Looks like somebody was getting double duty out of their Gandalf the White 1/4 scale model. Just throw some jolly garments on it and BAM - deranged Santa.

  16. Carlo1:52 PM

    If you look at Simon and Garfunkel another way, Artie becomes a lumberjack: http://damnthatswhack.me/post/1330437173/place-thumb-over-paul-simon-embrace

  17. Awesome! I KNEW I couldn't have been the first to notice that.

  18. kristina2:28 PM

    I never see anything "phone-worthy", apparently... well except for my short-dude, when he's sleeping quietly in his car-seat, because that is almost unheard of, so the pictures are evidence...

    Oh yeah, and photos at concerts that always look great until you get home and look at them the next day (could be alcohol related).